Cats Animals Fight or flight

Fight or flight

hannah - 17/02/2011 05:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Ramis182 - 16/12/2013 08:52 - United States - Auburn

Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML

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Js2cool - 29/09/2015 02:32 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML

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elliekilroy - 11/12/2010 00:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

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littlespoon - 04/02/2010 08:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

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nycplywood - 18/11/2009 21:01 - United States

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

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ciotter - 08/01/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

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Cujo, but for cats

Anonymous - 25/03/2021 08:01

Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML

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Poor little thing

Yikes - 10/07/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML

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Respect her boundaries

Kathy04 - 22/12/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I finally convinced my shy new cat to come out from under the bed and hang out with me on the couch. I felt like a true cat whisperer until, in the middle of petting her, she jumped up, knocked over my mug, and spilled hot cocoa all over my book. She then looked at me as if I was the one who messed up. FML

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Anonymous - 04/05/2009 12:37 - Canada

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

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lionandthelamb61 9

Thursday 17 February 2011 12:01

It probably sensed your fear.

toelie 26

Thursday 17 February 2011 12:15

If she peed on you, it means she considers you her territory. Take the compliment. Beats having your eyes scratched out anyway.

bReLiNg 18

Tuesday 29 January 2013 13:15

Gross... I was peed on by a hamster and a dog on the same day... I feel your pain.

bluerara912 12

Sunday 28 July 2013 6:21

Cats suck for many reasons

vassal44 9

Friday 10 January 2014 22:41

If you snort it's piss you will have the best lesbo fantasy EVER

namine120409 42

Saturday 23 August 2014 12:04

Well to be fair, it didn't scratch your eyes out.

FuckThisLogin 32

Tuesday 20 October 2015 2:35

How did it take that long for someone to say that??

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boyfriend of one year told me not to walk beside him because people might "think we're together". FML

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Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

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Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

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Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML

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Today, I went to a new doctor. She asked me how long I had been sexually active. I said I'm not. I'm 24. FML

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Today, my girlfriend’s brother FaceTimed her from Brazil to talk about his business. This wouldn’t be a big deal, but we were in the middle of our fourth reschedule attempt to celebrate my birthday. I was sitting naked next to her when she took the call, and she sees no problem. FML

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