Dramatic Entrance Fail By FML Approved - 01/08/2017 03:28 It's not easy being cheesy... I agree, your life sucks 575 You deserved it 210 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was making one of those microwavable pizza kits. Realizing I had no crushed red pepper to put on it, my mom suggested using a chili pepper she had dried. Thinking it was a great idea, I cracked it open on my pizza and out popped some fuzzy white mold and two maggots. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 697 You deserved it 267
Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 179 You deserved it 10 290
Today, I have cynophobia. My dog-loving friend refuses to acknowledge that it's real. Her dogs are vicious and mean, and she believes it is cruel to muzzle them. Not to mention they're almost the size of me, and I'm 6'2 and 220lbs. This is literally why I have cynophobia in the first place. FML I agree, your life sucks 862 You deserved it 295
Today, to save money, I bought some meat in bulk. When I got home, I was told that power to the neighborhood was out, and probably would be for days. Rather than let the meat rot, I barbecued it all and gave it away to my neighbors. The power came on while everyone was eating. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 989 You deserved it 4 472
Today, we began our honeymoon with a Yellowstone Park hike. Wildfires took hold at both ends of the park. We lost all cell service. Her parents and my mom worried, texted and called. My dad just logged into my Fantasy Football team to pick up a running back in this week's waiver wire. FML I agree, your life sucks 999 You deserved it 198
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 713 You deserved it 5 471
Thank god the garage door was in the way, mom might have been just another statistic from being run over.