Disaster Preparedness By FML Videos - 17/09/2018 18:30 In all seriousness, be safe out there guys! agreeclassic 314 vote type 1 160 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML agreeclassic 73 204 vote type 1 5 582
Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML agreeclassic 14 672 vote type 1 28 924
Today, I received a text breakup from my boyfriend while we were sitting right next to each other on the couch. He said, “This isn’t working,” and I had to ask, “Is this a joke? You’re literally here.” His phone was on silent. FML agreeclassic 418 vote type 1 99
Today, after two years of chronic usage, I’m 26 days sober off weed. About 2 months off nicotine. One year off psychedelics. But I’m more bored, lonely, sad, and frustrated than ever. Connections scares me as much as I crave them, and what connections I do make barely scratch the surface. I'm doing my best but it feels the worst. FML agreeclassic 430 vote type 1 145
Today, I found out that most of the people I work with secretly refer to me as the "designated bottom" because they assumed from my slight stature and soft spoken personality that I was a submissive homosexual. My wife thinks it’s hilarious and keeps grabbing my ass to make me jump in shock. FML agreeclassic 1 971 vote type 1 265
Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML agreeclassic 33 683 vote type 1 2 328
This is why there is no male version of Mary Poppins