Sex, Creepypasta Intimacy Creeped out

Creeped out

Anonymous - 16/08/2010 04:11 - United States

Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
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Noname - 06/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

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pleasedtomeetyou - 13/01/2010 16:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

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Cougartown

Anonymous - 12/09/2022 01:00

Today, my boyfriend met my mom and started acting strange. Then my dad came in and was instantly furious. Apparently, my boyfriend is the guy my mom cheated with that caused my parent's divorce. He’s 3 years younger than I am. Gross mom, just gross. Also I’m single again, damn it. FML

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Anonymous - 28/06/2012 12:08 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

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Anonymous - 22/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

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Inappropriate!

Anonymous - 29/09/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

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Oil and water

Anonymous - 13/04/2022 14:00

Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML

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Weird flex, but OK

incestastic - 14/08/2010 23:23 - Canada

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently, my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she's embarrassed of my real brother. FML

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anon - 16/03/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

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Felicia doesn't approve

uneek_3225 - 22/10/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

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Quest_ 13

Monday 16 August 2010 12:24

Missing teeth = *********** from heaven.

doink 0

Monday 16 August 2010 16:01

That's not a creepy thing to say to a stranger. Not creepy at all...

kara1234567 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 6:43

LOLOL

XTheDesertSongX 17

Tuesday 17 August 2010 15:01

Bailey's, mmm creamy :D

violetsweety 26

Wednesday 18 August 2010 2:44

lmao

Serec 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 23:55

describe speaks the truth.

robotiick 12

Thursday 19 May 2011 4:21

yay I found a Russian  I love russian ppl

natty098 2

Thursday 12 July 2012 16:14

OP ur a bitch!

cassielite 19

Wednesday 12 April 2017 16:51

TMI

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

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Today, for the third time this year, my wife backed into the garage door. We’d just finally got it fixed exactly one week ago for $1800 from the last time she did it. Somehow it’s my fault. FML

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Today, I was kicked out of class for having a coughing fit. Yesterday, I was kicked out of class for sleeping, a side effect of my cough suppressant. Three absents from this class and I automatically fail. FML

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Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

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Today, I was excited to finally take a day off work and relax at home. However, as soon as I was on the couch to Netflix and chill with my cat, I got a call from my boss saying I was needed at the office to fix a major issue. I ended up spending the entire day at work and didn't get to enjoy my "day off." FML

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Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

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