Intimacy Considerate boyfriend - FML

Considerate boyfriend

Anonymous - 29/05/2013 07:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

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Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

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Mr Clean

Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

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BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

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Communication

GoneLimp - 07/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Havelock

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML

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FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

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Compromising situation

anonymous - 16/07/2011 13:18 - Canada

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

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Gross out competition

shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

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Anonymous - 08/09/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels… or toilet paper… or soap. I'm really sticky right now. FML

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jester777 - 22/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

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Frankenstein611 10

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:03

Thats just nasty!

life_sucks225 13

Wednesday 29 May 2013 17:02

i hope it was worth it

infectedsense 15

Wednesday 7 August 2013 23:33

My ex once told me he'd swallowed a pube before in a similar situation, I was like dude, you do not have to do that!! I do find that when it's all shaved down there, paper tends to stick. I guess the moral is that God does not want us to perform *********** :(

JoseIsAdork 31

Monday 26 August 2013 8:58

I seriously gagged when I read this, op ×_×, god that's gross as hell

justinguy 4

Sunday 29 September 2013 23:42

oh dear Jesus Christ.....

MymB612 14

Monday 14 October 2013 13:51

Well, aren't you a persistent lover. Good for her. You, though, FYL

Argretto 5

Sunday 22 December 2013 23:45

NOPE.

furry_jessaline 3

Sunday 5 January 2014 5:01

74- we all did...

PizzaDeliveryGrl 19

Monday 24 February 2014 1:00

HOLY shit, don't you have limits?!

fivehuskies 6

Saturday 14 June 2014 16:20

Took me a while to figure this out. I'd rather spoil that shit. Omfg.

MissLily_fml 4

Saturday 11 October 2014 7:01

True love lol...but yikes :S

mjg1416 10

Monday 29 December 2014 9:07

Bro.....you're the real MVP

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

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Today, the most important aspect of my day is to keep my head on my shoulders and not explode. FML

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Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 years because I didn't know the exact amount of days that we'd been together. FML

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Today, I confronted my husband about the sexts between him and another woman. He says it’s “just chatting” and “It’s not like I’m gonna do it in real life, I got you baby.” He called me unreasonable for getting upset. He’s sulking right now because I refused to fix him dinner tonight. FML

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Today, my brother and I ruined our mother's birthday by fighting. She's 76, we're 55 and 54 and yet still unable to comport ourselves like adults. She yelled at us and then "showed me" by eating the dish he made but not mine. I reverted to teenage coping tactics, dissociating like a boss, and hiding in my room. Worst family visit ever. FML

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Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML

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