Customers, Public freakouts, Cops Work Catering to idiots

Catering to idiots

Anonymous - 27/03/2013 00:10 - United States - Pittsfield

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

37 548

3 754

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Long time coming

I'm the boss, not you - 26/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

2 531

You got lawyered

fckmylife - 20/12/2016 19:47

Today, I found out that I'm being sued for posting on Facebook about a customer service experience with a local company. Even though we have witnesses, the owners of the store claim that we're lying about the whole thing and that we're "malicious". FML

9 218

720

fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo - 28/07/2013 16:23 - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

47 686

3 575

Get off my lawn!

control your mutt! - 23/02/2022 22:00

Today, tired of people letting their dogs crap in my yard, I sprinkled an assortment of crushed peppers around my lawn as a deterrent. One dog went to do its business and had some sort of allergic reaction. Now its bitchy owner is threatening to sue me, and tried to have her daughter kick my ass. FML

1 037

420

Alice - 27/05/2011 05:46 - Australia

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

39 488

3 193

Punk rock

Shitfaced - 22/11/2022 12:00

Today, some punk tried the "flaming bag of dog poop" trick on me. I caught him in the act and smashed the unlit bag across his face. Now he's "traumatized" and wants to press charges. FML

1 675

209

KereKris - 01/12/2016 19:18

Today, I wrote a bad review for a pizza place after their pizza gave me food poisoning. Now, they won't stop calling me, begging me to take my review down in exchange for free pizza. I have tried to tell them that I wouldn't eat their pizza again even if I got paid to do so, but they won't listen. FML

10 615

1 401

Anonymous - 05/06/2015 01:07 - United States - Elkhart

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

30 855

2 140

Anonymous - 07/12/2010 03:42 - United States

Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML

28 555

5 438

A Henderson - 25/04/2012 20:50 - United States

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

27 204

2 258

KingDead 18

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:06

Common sense; not so common

that1guyyy 12

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:06

You should really clean up your act.

xeka 10

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:16

Police + Problem Solving = Problem Not Solved + More Problems.

iLike2Teabag 27

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:38

I see your profile says you produce music for Machinima. Do you happen to produce music for N.W.A. as well? 2 posts about how much you hate the police?

NickaPLZ 26

Wednesday 27 March 2013 16:47

Well said, 11. Wellllllll said.

Barhinder 9

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:22

After first bite: "That tastes odd." After 21 bites: "Ok that definitely tastes wired!" After becoming ill: "That ass tried to poison me!"

Ajwc101 24

Wednesday 27 March 2013 11:42

Sorry I meant to thumb you up.

caligirl1028 7

Wednesday 27 March 2013 15:52

Lol

ibmike22 13

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:22

That's soap ridiculous. ....

Chronophage 7

Wednesday 27 March 2013 11:46

You're not (lye)ing.

yup93 7

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:22

With a world like the one we live in now, I probably would have recommended that too.

YouKnowIMeantMe_ 21

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:23

Now you know where those stupid instructrions, in some products, come from. This is one on the making. Instead of fighting stupidity, we're adapting ourselves to it. Way to go, people!