Alcohol, Drunk Kids Boozehound - FML

Boozehound

Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

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fgbh456 - 28/12/2011 00:48 - United States

Today, I confronted my mom about her drinking problems. After I blurted everything out, she completely denied it. She did this as she was drinking a huge cup full of vodka. FML

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How very dare you?

Anonymous - 23/08/2019 14:00

Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML

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FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

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the only sober one - 15/05/2013 06:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

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cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

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anonymous - 07/02/2012 09:27 - United States

Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML

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anonymous - 14/06/2016 16:47 - United States - Inverness

Today, after months of helping my mother with bills because she claimed she had no money, I found out she makes way more than what I do. She just wanted my money for alcohol and drugs. FML

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Boozehound

Anonymous - 04/11/2020 17:02

Today, after being accepted into the college of my dreams, I found out that my mom has spent all my college savings on alcohol over the years, and she says that it's my fault for not "helping her get help." FML

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Boozehound

fuck you mom - 17/04/2020 20:00

Today, my mom laid into me, calling me a selfish bitch, blaming me for my dad not being around and finally that she should’ve aborted me. All because I couldn't get her booze from the neighborhood market she’s been banned from. I’m not even 21. FML

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Glass houses and all that

mirrorfad - - United Kingdom

Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

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jibz 6

Monday 26 December 2011 15:50

Vodka? She could probably sell you for better than that.

cduran2011 6

Monday 26 December 2011 15:52

Don't do it. Get at least 4 shots. Pass them around.

latifaniomityra 0

Thursday 29 December 2011 22:14

Lmaoo. She probably did once or twice

mynameisTiffany 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 18:07

u gotta love ur mom

kei1108 13

Sunday 1 January 2012 1:26

That's verbally abusive and possibly illegal. Sctnow.org is the best!!! STOP CHILD TRAFFICKING! it's not funny to joke about when you see the real stories.

qwertyuiop100 2

Saturday 7 January 2012 21:49

ouch

nickanuvis 2

Sunday 8 January 2012 2:02

That's depressing :S

WorldsGhost 2

Monday 9 January 2012 11:39

At least sell you for two shots. One for her and one for you saying goodbye.

R3TROxLOV3 32

Thursday 12 January 2012 23:13

Well... She sounds like a real charmer.

obeykaitlyn 25

Saturday 5 January 2013 9:17

yea umm... was she drunk at the moment?

PrinceOfBritain 20

Monday 9 March 2015 6:18

This would have been funnier if your mother was completely opposed to drinking

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went indoor rock climbing. After finally making it to the top, my pants ripped on my last move. I wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

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Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

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Today, after I've been nauseous for a week straight, barely eating or sleeping, I was going to see my doctor. She then called in sick and I can't get an appointment for another week. FML

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Today, on my first day driving a hearse, I took a wrong turn and of course every car behind followed me. Out of pure habit I had turned right into the main street as though I was driving home, when I should've turned left. At least my wife got to see me from the window as I drove past the house. FML

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Today, I just got home from hospital after delivering an order of razor wire. One of the razors split my trousers and my sack open, my bollock was visibly hanging out of the giant slit in my sack and I had to go get it stitched shut. FML

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Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

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