Transportation Bonjour! - FML

Bonjour!

Anonymous - 17/07/2009 22:40 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said, "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML

12 490

104 743

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

nmaidkieavg - 25/01/2011 06:13

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

8 415

56 115

Am I being detained?

Anonymous - 15/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML

124

636

Anonymous - 25/04/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML

13 417

85 287

yulis - 30/11/2013 19:21 - United States - Hagerstown

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

51 469

7 302

Officer McGiggles

ACAB - 16/09/2019 20:00 - Australia

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML

1 533

253

Sarah-D - 29/07/2016 05:31

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

16 300

2 273

Thanks asshole

WearingOff - 03/08/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. After a few minutes of conversing, he told me he didn't need to give me a ticket. He then asked for a date. I politely declined. After staring at me for a very long moment, he said, "I think I'm going to have to give you that ticket after all." FML

50 767

27 047

Anonymous - 21/07/2014 15:58 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

38 627

22 219

Anonymous - 06/12/2010 19:11 - United States

Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML

7 322

39 833

High performance, high risk quipping

Anonymous - 29/04/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML

144

825

neverland_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 1:32

Time to state the obvious: should have waited until he was IN his car. YDI, son. :/

jasnoo 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 1:33

ALMOST got away with it, would have been awesome!

roflcopterzzz 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 19:25

Your wife is retarded. I can't stand people like her.

cactus_fml 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 22:33

He gave them away, not his wife.

ANTiK_fml 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:30

lol you're an idiot for not waiting until you drive off to speak english again . hahaha .

ANTiK_fml 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:33

lol you're an idiot for not waiting until you drive off to speak english again . hahaha .

DXJC56 0

Monday 27 July 2009 6:12

wow,, dude ur stupid, start driving away b4 u stay that

amaneylandx3 0

Monday 27 July 2009 15:41

Smooth criminal....almost? Rip mj ;(

ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 4:48

yea u do that when hes in his CAR

Mirelly13 6

Monday 23 August 2010 10:09

this would so be a win if you carried it out properly...

blackhamster97 7

Wednesday 8 September 2010 7:41

wow you and your wife are stupid

whitecloud197 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 21:22

dumbass

XoMxcted 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 12:42

Your wife shouldve been driving, shes probably better than you.

8
9
10
11
12
13

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mother decided that I'm a complete sociopath and that I don’t care that my grandmother just died. Why? Because I haven’t lost my appetite. My grief response is to eat. FML

991

91

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

28 108

5 478

Today, the snowblower found my lost phone. FML

28 807

4 982

Today, it's been two weeks since one of my roommates moved out. Despite me telling the postal service he no longer lives here, they're still knocking on my door almost every day with urgent letters addressed to him. I have no idea where he lives now, and am wondering what the fuck he was up to here. FML

458

78

Today, my school's student council has started putting random positive messages on people's lockers. I'd like to be happy about it, but my inner Grammar Nazi is pissed because they've mixed up "your" and "you're" on so many of them. I just want to take a sharpie and correct them all. FML

781

176

Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML

33 609

4 364