Pranks

Worth it

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 22:58

Today, my mom thought it would be funny to wake me up with a monster mask on, holding a knife, and screaming, "I'm going to kill you!" My first response was to punch her in the face then kick her. Guess who's grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 103

Justice served

By ToiletPrankster - 15/03/2022 06:00

Today, I thought it would be funny to prank call my job on my day off. I star 69’ed the numbers and prank called my coworkers. However, when I got to my boss, he knew who I was, and threatened to report me to the police. I’d forgotten to star 69. Safe to say, I was fired on my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 3 387

Suspicious

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 05:43 - United States

Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 738

You deserved it 3 892

Gentle prank

By Anonymous - 17/02/2021 22:58 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my little sister swapped out the hard white cheese on the meat-cheese platter with slices of white chocolate and put some Skittles into the bowl of M&M's. My limited circle of friends and family in our safe social pandemic bubble think it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 110

How d'you like them apples?

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 14:00

Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 216

Shitheads

By Robert - 06/02/2021 14:00 - United States

Today, it's been a week since I hired a 17 year-old guy to work at my store. Three of his friends decided to come in today and "prank" him by all three taking a shit in one toilet and clog it. The toilet overflowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 91

They're indoctrinating our children… with pranks!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my eight year-old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mindfucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 826

You deserved it 4 011

To be fair, Crocs deserve it

By Anonymous - 11/04/2023 21:00 - Canada - London

Today, I was at my boyfriend’s locker during lunch. He shares a locker with my ex. I thought it would be funny to joke around with his Crocs and pretend to cut them. The Crocs cut. I’m now suspended, and I owe my ex a new pair of Crocs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 1 642

Morons either way

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I knew my coworker was stealing my lunch, so I made a sandwich with tons of incredibly spicy peppers. He took a bite, shrieked in pain, and ran off sobbing. Unfortunately, he was also in an emergency meeting with an important client, so now my whole department looks like a bunch of morons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 112

Highly skilled prankster

By Anonymous - 23/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I work on a farm and someone pranked me by horseshoeing my boots. You read that right, someone went through the full process of fixing horseshoes to my Wellington boots, forging the shoe to the correct shape, then nailing it on. It was actually impressive, but seriously guys… FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 97

Carrie?

By Lucy - 22/03/2022 06:00

Today, I faked a burglar alarm to see what my sleeping husband would do. The instant he thought a burglar was in the house, I thought he'd yell out for me and come looking. Nope, he yelled out for his limited edition Air Jordans, and ran into his office to check if any were missing. Priorities, I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 1 040

Gotta get that clout

By Anonymous - 15/09/2023 22:00

Today, I was tricked into seeming like a sexist pig. A girl at the gym asked me to show her how to use a machine, so I did, then she started screaming at me to leave her alone. An hour later, I was all over the gym social media in a phone video heavily edited to make me look like a creepy gym bro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 105

It's a mystery

By Anonymous - 07/09/2022 17:00 - Australia - Cremorne

Today, our water got cut off. Since our council tax is also due today, I called them and hurled abuse for cutting off the water so soon. Turns out they don’t actually supply water, nor was it even disconnected. Some random person just turned off the meter tap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 1 209

F*** Grandma, eh kids?

By Sorry mommy - 13/08/2024 05:00 - United States - Corona

Today, I was so distraught during my mother’s funeral that I hadn’t been paying attention to anything around me. At some point, my kids changed my ringtone to “Ding dong the witch is dead” and turned my phone to full volume. They called while I was doing her eulogy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 118

Lobster rock

By Fonzie34 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was lobstering. While I was getting bands, my co-worker decided it would be funny to make a lobster pinch my ear. it was a 4 pound lobster, and my ear was swollen for 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 440

You deserved it 2 987

Just a prank, bro

By Lucas - 11/02/2022 06:00

Today, our boss gave me and my team a final warning, because of a prank that one of my workmates played on him. It isn't the first time shit happens. The boss won't let us dispute it, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 225

Pranks are terrible

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 23:01 - United States - Humble

Today, my sister threw my water bottle as a joke. When I stepped off the bleachers, my right foot lost its footing and my other foot followed. Now I have two sprained ankles at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 87

April fooled

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 09:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for cheating on him with his best friend… in a dream he had last night. I was upset at first, but then I remembered what day it is, and laughed at his silly "prank". He was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 50

Am I being Punk'd?

By Anonymous - 05/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was told by a doctor that I have a fatal disease, and that I should start making preparations for when I pass away. Then, another doctor showed up, panicking, and said that was meant for someone else with the same first name as me. The mini-heart attack I had at that moment almost killed me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 101

It's just a prank, bro

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 345

You deserved it 4 218

Gullible

By Anonymous - 02/10/2015 22:22 - United States - Ashburn

Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling, "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 901

You deserved it 23 591

Return to sender

By Anonymous - 11/02/2023 04:00 - Germany - Ingolstadt

Today, I pulled a prank on my friend by making a fake Tinder profile just to catfish him. All our friends came to make fun of him, only to realise that he'd stood me up. Turns out, never showing for first dates is his way of playing hard to get. Now everyone is laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 1 804

Sharing is caring

By Joseph - 27/02/2016 02:52 - United States - El Paso

Today, my nephew gave me a piece of gum. He's not one to share, so I was rather shocked at his kindness. After a while chewing, he admitted he gave it to me because the pack was in his pocket when he peed his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 326

You deserved it 1 903

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 00:01

Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 133

Just a prank, son!

By barface - 11/01/2012 02:52 - United States

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 882

You deserved it 2 819

Headshot

By suhleedah18 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 374

You deserved it 2 748

Great plan, asshat

By deanlazore - 23/06/2016 03:09 - United States - Brunswick

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date. I've discussed the fact I like to date older men, but she thought it was clever to send a 63-year-old to my house to, "Netflix And Chill." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 641

You deserved it 2 041

Haxxor

By Anonymous - 03/08/2023 16:00

Today, I don’t know what’s worse, a hacker posting that I have cancer to my Facebook page, or that over 12 hours later not one of my family or friends rang or messaged to ask if it was true or not, except a distant auntie who liked the post 12 seconds after it was posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 124

Spooked

By Marina - 20/09/2024 06:00 - Australia

Today, I was FaceTiming with my mum when she interrupted me to ask who 'the man behind me' was. I live alone, so I had a bit of a jump scare moment. She was so proud of her 'hilarious' prank, her laugh still haunts me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 100

Smash

By Unintended Victim - 08/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 108

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 783

You deserved it 42 656

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate when she pulled me in close and whispered in my ear, "We're getting Chips Ahoy after this." I came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 649

You deserved it 3 002

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 579

You deserved it 8 651

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 369

You deserved it 4 030

Today, as a stressed NHS nurse, I tried to take a relaxing bath, except I dropped my book in the water, my candle set my hair on fire, I slipped getting out and may have broken my finger. The noise woke up my two kids, so I had to start their bedtime routine over again, and I got bath salt crystals in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 229

Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 020

You deserved it 8 339