Love

What should I do?

Anonymous - 07/07/2024 03:00 - United States - New Philadelphia

Today, I realized my love life is a mess. I’ve been married for nine years, having an affair with a good friend for over a year, and I'm still in love with the boy who broke my heart years ago, and contacts me only when he is lonely. All three make me happy, but two of them are unable to commit. FML

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Work harder

hank - 06/07/2024 11:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, every time I go out with my friend, we get approached by girls. He’s taken, so he’s offered to be my wingman. Every time the girls find out he’s taken and I'm the single one, they tell us how they were only interested in him. I’m working my ass off trying to improve myself, and these are my results. FML

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Shoot your shot

Unlucky - 06/07/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally told the guy I like that I'm in love with him. He's the first person I have ever fallen in love with and owning up to my feelings was nerve-wracking due to my anxiety. He rejected me and ghosted me after saying he would get in touch soon. FML

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Cats > Humans

Breebree - 06/07/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I realized I’m always being told how “amazing” I am, yet no guy wants to choose me. I’m that girl who is always overlooked and friend-zoned. I have so much love to give yet I never get any of it in return. I guess I should adopt lots of cats and write off guys forever. FML

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Context

Anonymous - 05/07/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I found out that a old friend of mine and her man broke up because he cheated on her. For context, we stopped being friends after he came onto me after a night at a bar, and we semi-hooked up. I'm also a gay man. Should I reach out? FML

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Delete pls

Anonymous - 04/07/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband sent me a dick pic, then sent a follow up text saying, “Sorry, not meant for you, delete pls”, followed by, “Ignore that, obviously it was meant for you. Love you.” If he’s sending pics to other women, I’m gonna spread his cheeks and jam every golf ball he owns up there. FML

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Jumping to conclusions

el211 - - United States

Today, my boyfriend ran accidentally head-first into my face and left me with a giant black eye. My mother is convinced I had a seizure in a park somewhere and won't listen when I tell her she's wrong, and everyone else thinks my boyfriend is abusive. FML

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What a pity

Anonymous - 03/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized I will never find love again. I broke down after I finally realized that no woman will love me like I used to be loved. I have not dated anyone for almost 10 years. I try to go on dates, to no avail. I will forever be alone and I will forever be tortured by my loneliness. FML

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NEXT!

Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

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Bros

Anonymous - 02/07/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend met my brother. They're both over 6 foot, and big. They glared at each other like they were about to start a fight, then out of nowhere shook hands, hugged while laughing like lunatics, and have been besties all afternoon. Why are gym bros such weird idiots? FML

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A tale as old as time

Anonymous - 02/07/2024 23:30 - India - Hyderabad

Today, it's been an exact month since everything went wrong with me and the girl I put 100% efforts to just talk to. My heart has never felt no heavy, and I wish I was a bit more attractive. The greatest pain that comes to your heart is when you love someone who you can never have. FML

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New kink unlocked

poopface82 - 02/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend, who is embarrassed of her smoking habit and wants to quit, to smoke in front of me to break the shame. I was loving, supportive, and cheerful, and I kissed her after. I also got a boner. Now I wish she wouldn’t quit. FML

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Skiver

Anonymous - 02/07/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while my husband and I were cleaning out a closet, he went outside to throw out some trash. He was taking a long time to return and I went to make sure he was OK. He was in the living room watching TV instead of helping me. FML

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Denial

Anonymous - 02/07/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad has “accepted” that I’m a lesbian, but can’t seem to understand why I can’t just ignore that part of myself, marry a man and have kids, and never talk about the "lesbian thing" ever again. FML

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Seeing other people

kayla53 - - United States - Elmer

Today, my boyfriend posted pictures of him at the bar last night with his ex. And ones of them in her bed this morning. I guess we're sleeping with other people? FML

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The resentment…

noah - 01/07/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, it’s been four months since my cheating ex-girlfriend dumped me for someone else’s dick. She was offered a monthly six figure OnlyFans contract. Since then she’s been living life care-free while I struggle to pick up the pieces. Back to being single and still working my ass off to be broke. FML

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Love is love

Anonymous - 30/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my friend, who is gay, announced that he's getting married. I implored him to not invite my parents and (especially) my grandma, for reasons that I'm sure you can figure out, but he did anyway. Long story short, he's inconsolable. What excellent parents I have. FML

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Sneaked in

GameMeetsGame2024 - 30/06/2024 05:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, an attractive woman was flirting with me from across a coffee shop. When I walked over and introduced myself, she served me with my divorce paperwork. FML

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Smooth

Jank - 30/06/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, on a third and hopefully eventful date, I tried to be smooth and pull out my date's chair for them at a restaurant. I misjudged the distance and ended up pulling the chair out from under them completely, causing them to fall. The rest of the date was spent apologizing profusely. No third base either. FML

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Bad idea

Anonymous - 29/06/2024 16:00 - United States - Herndon

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. It’s a little awkward so I went to the bathroom to do two bumps of coke, came back to the table, and realized it was ketamine. I didn’t tell him, but I was so fucked up, he offered to get me an Uber home but I told him I called my mom to pick me up instead. He left and unmatched me. FML

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With a heavy heart…

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I watched my best friend get married to the guy I have been in love with since the eighth grade. I was the maid of honor, and had to give a toast to the couple. FML

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Always lockcheck

Embarassed and single - 28/06/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I was doing a striptease for my crush on FaceTime. I’d forgotten to lock my bedroom door and my mom came barging in, yelling at me to, “Stop leaving your period blood on the toilet seat!” She also saw that I was in my bra and panties, and left in disgust. My crush hung up and he won’t return my calls or texts. FML

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Pull the wool

Anonymous - 28/06/2024 23:30 - India - Pune

Today, my girlfriend is fucking somebody else and she thinks I don't know. I'm too afraid to lose her, so I haven't told her that I know. I'm not sure why I'm not ready to let her go. FML

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Humblebrag time

Pusillanimous - - United States

Today, I was waiting in line with a friend, and she poked my stomach and said, "I wish I had your stomach." I asked her why. She said, "Boys wouldn't flirt with me." FML

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Say hello, wave goodbye

Anonymous - 28/06/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. I also moved right back out, after I caught him sexting one of his coworkers just a few hours later. FML

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Hot headed

Anonymous - 27/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, during an argument with my fiancé, I threw my engagement ring on the ground. The center stone broke off. Now he's couch surfing, and has sworn that he won't marry me unless I can find the stone. One stupid moment might actually ruin my life. FML

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Romcom trope

Anonymous - 27/06/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a waiter fucked up by bringing a dessert with engagement ring to our table. My girlfriend started crying and saying, "Yes Yes Yes!" The look on her face when she had to take the ring off and give it back to the other woman… She’s now giving me the silent treatment, even though I did nothing wrong. FML

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Don't let me be misunderstood

Vanessaaaa - 27/06/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my husband is leaving me because he did a paternity test on our 4 year-old daughter and found out she’s not his. The night of my bachelorette party I drunkenly hooked up with two men so I don’t know who the father is. He doesn’t understand that I was drunk and that family isn’t about blood, it’s about love. FML

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OBEY

Nope! - 27/06/2024 05:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my husband told me that I’m no longer “allowed” to see my best friend of 27 years. He’s worked up in his mind that she’s going to try to convince me to cheat on him because she’s single. She literally introduced us and was the maid of honor at our wedding. FML

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Tripping

Blank - - United States

Today, my new step-dad proposed to my mom during a family trip to Wal-Mart. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my stalker - an annoying guy who's dedicated the past three years of his life to stalking me at every turn - somehow got a hold of my number and started texting me at 10pm about how I have no life. FML

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Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

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Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

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Today, I found out my friend has been texting my long distance boyfriend more than I do. When I confronted her about it, she confessed that it was because they had been planning a surprise appearance for me. I've never been surprised before, and I ruined my own surprise. FML

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Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML

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Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and swing my lanyard around with my keys on it. It flew off my finger and into their yard. FML

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