Intimacy

By EvilBubbles - 09/01/2015 03:45 - Trinidad and Tobago - Woodbrook

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 529

You deserved it 41 979

EvilBubbles tells us more.

EvilBubbles 9

Saturday 10 January 2015 2:05

Lol guys! This is my post and the anal sex argument was on and off all day. My laptop did an automatic audio test without my permission haha the whole class laughed about it today, all good.

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 191

You deserved it 3 385

Same

By Anonymous - 08/01/2015 14:24 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 003

You deserved it 6 100

Back and forth and back again

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 19:37 - Guam - Barrigada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 145

You deserved it 3 941

By JefferyLillie - 07/01/2015 08:31 - United States - Fargo

Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him. Turned out they were having really rough sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 704

You deserved it 10 350

JefferyLillie tells us more.

JefferyLillie 16

Wednesday 7 January 2015 20:16

He and I both came from a bad back rounds. He turned some what out like his father. I've seen him him it women but never like beat them. We're as I turned out like my step dad.

Denial

By innocent - 06/01/2015 03:11 - United States

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 402

You deserved it 3 368

Great handle!

By I'll Make You FartCum - 02/01/2015 21:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 491

You deserved it 9 147

Weird flex, but OK

By mrwilly - 02/01/2015 03:22 - United States - Corona

Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 913

You deserved it 4 906

By GladYoureConcerned - 30/12/2014 18:15 - United States - Glendale

Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 695

You deserved it 4 269

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 332

You deserved it 17 989

By whovian - 25/12/2014 15:17 - United States - Gorham

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 573

You deserved it 4 642

By VCDUDE11FTW - 25/12/2014 09:13 - United States - Lewis Center

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 647

You deserved it 16 380

By Anonymous - 23/12/2014 21:48 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 642

You deserved it 3 901

Freudian

By giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock - 19/12/2014 23:14 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 149

You deserved it 4 663

The incident

By Anonymous - 18/12/2014 22:45 - United States - Traverse City

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as "The Cheese Stick Incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 397

You deserved it 4 955

By marie0908 - 17/12/2014 05:29 - France - Siros

Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 313

You deserved it 13 625

By Extravirgin - 16/12/2014 12:01 - Germany - Munich

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 758

You deserved it 8 304

By missca - 16/12/2014 04:35 - Australia - Salisbury

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 844

You deserved it 9 041

missca_fml tells us more.

missca_fml 19

Thursday 18 December 2014 0:30

Hey all I'm the OP, in hindsight I should have put that my Nan recently passed away, it was a couple of days earlier, and the website insists all FMLs are started with "today". Rest assured I didn't simply find out my Nan died and proceed to have sex!