Coworkers

Stinky

PUE - 23/07/2022 04:00

Today, I found out I’m the “smelly girl” in the office. Now I understand all those passive-aggressive subtle comments about hygiene and showering made by my coworkers, and why a bottle of Dial body wash randomly appeared on my desk one day. FML

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Red flags

Destitute - 21/07/2022 06:00

Today, I learned that when communication is getting shorter with you, it’s getting longer with someone else. My husband never tells me about his day anymore, but he constantly texts his coworker outside work. He vehemently insists she’s only a coworker and nothing else, and he’s “allowed to have friends”. FML

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The betrayal

DoubleXed - 20/07/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, my newly ex-boyfriend, who is also my co-worker, threw me under the bus about our relationship, except he claimed it was a one-sided relationship. I offered to show the consensual texts between us, but he insisted it’s “Photoshopped.” I was fired anyway. FML

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Prosopagnosia

jiji - 19/07/2022 06:00

Today, I called my coworker by the name of another coworker, and now he won’t speak to me. They’re both bald and roughly the same weight and height, so it’s not like I can easily tell them apart. FML

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Cougar

Anonymous - 04/07/2022 18:00

Today, I had a sex dream about a coworker I've known for a few weeks. He's a lovely guy, but is not someone I'd usually be attracted to. He's also 18, and I'm 29. FML

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Emergency

Ethan Sitzes - 25/06/2022 22:00

Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML

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WHPJ

PattyJ - 17/06/2022 12:00

Today, I found out some of my colleagues made a Teams group named “WHPJ” Which stands for “We Hate (My first initial) (My last initial)." They post candid photos of me that were taken without my consent, and make jokes about me. These people pretend to be nice to me at work everyday. FML

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Productivity Queen

NoJustNo - 13/06/2022 08:00 - United States

Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML

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Charming

lordoftheweird - 31/05/2022 05:00 - Canada - Ladysmith

Today, I realized my coworker can't comprehend English, or any other language. When I mentioned this to a coworker, they accused me of being an ableist. This is the same person who insults him to his face, knowing he can't understand her. FML

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Everyone's so sensitive these days

Anonymous - 20/05/2022 18:00

Today, like every day for the past six months, I have to go to work and walk on eggshells so the newest employee doesn't feel like I'm being passive-aggressive. I need a new job. FML

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Wish you were here

Pooped - 12/05/2022 18:00

Today, I found out my coworker faked having COVID so she could go on vacation. I guess she forgot that we follow each other on Instagram. I saw all her pictures of her drinking and at the beach enjoying herself. I’ve been doing the bulk of her work and staying overtime. FML

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Zing!

Anonymous - 10/05/2022 14:00

Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML

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Speak your brains

ValerieRolle - 28/04/2022 18:00

Today, one of my co-workers, who I secretly hate, announced she and her husband were expecting. She's rather big. Without thinking, I said, "How did he manage to find your vag under those fat rolls?" I got placed on suspension and now have to attend a training on sexual harassment in the workplace. FML

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Bigmouth strikes again and again

O Boy - 28/04/2022 00:00 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, my coworker left a tiny mess in the break room. I cleaned it up and jokingly said, "Your mother isn't here to clean up after you." She started crying. I forgot her mom died last week. FML

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Dude, shut up!

LordHeadass - 19/04/2022 04:00

Today, I was having a pretty good day, then I showed up to work for my night shift. I get here, and I’m put on the worst check stand, have to work with the most annoying person on the planet, and I forgot both my dinner and my AirPods at home. FML

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Charmed

Anonymous - 16/04/2022 10:00

Today, I couldn't figure out why my crush hasn't spoken to me since last October. My other coworkers finally explained that she's still angry at me because I kept referring to her Halloween costume as a "sexy witch costume". As fate would have it, it was just a regular witch costume. It wasn't supposed to be sexy. FML

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Alopecia shit

ThanksWill - 07/04/2022 12:00

Today, a coworker just came back from being ill and getting chemotherapy for a month and a half. I saw her bald head. I’d never seen her like that before. The astonishment disabled my verbal filter and I blurted out, "Jada Pinkett-Smith." Let’s just say besides this FML, I’m also submitting online resumes. FML

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Moral of the story: don't be a weirdo

Megan - 29/03/2022 02:00 - Czech Republic

Today, I ran into an old coworker. Several years ago, he had a creepy, obsessive crush on me. Now, he's lost over a hundred pounds, makes over twice as much as me, and isn't a complete weirdo anymore. I asked him if he wanted to get a drink sometime and 'catch up'. "Nah, I'm good." FML

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Great date night

Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

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Pulled a sneaky on you

blank sheep at work - 01/03/2022 09:00 - United States - Richland

Today, I found out that my work threw me a birthday party alongside my coworker’s birthday. Said coworker spread a rumor, telling everyone that I wanted each person to buy me flowers and cake. Everyone thought that I was a weirdo for asking for those things from them. I wasn't at work today. FML

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Lunch with Fantano

Bill G - 24/02/2022 00:01

Today, alone at my new company, the guy who works the front desk joined me for lunch. I was touched at first, but then he proceeded to have a conversation (against my will) with me about Whitney Houston, for over an hour. That's one lunch break I'll never get back. FML

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183

Bitch better have my money

Pio - 22/02/2022 16:00

Today, I asked my coworker to pay back the $100 I'd loaned her when she fell on hard times. She’s owed me for almost a year now, and she always said she’d pay me back “Next week.” She responded by telling HR that I was “harassing” and “threatening” her. FML

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Sneaky but clever

Sorryfornotbeinggoodenough - 19/02/2022 18:00

Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML

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Heartless

Zerofilter - 18/02/2022 18:01

Today, my coworker said her dog died. Without thinking, I tried to cheer her up and said, “Oh man, that’s rough. Get it? Ruff? Ruff ruff!” and giggled like a schoolgirl. Nobody laughed. My coworker burst into more tears. I have a Teams video meeting with my supervisor and HR this afternoon. FML

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Cat? Priceless

Anonymous - 17/02/2022 00:01

Today, I was so lethargic talking to my co-worker about her raise that I accidently told her to celebrate with a family vacation. I totally forgot that she just started divorce proceedings and that her mom is dying. Meanwhile, I'm stuck making $42,000 a year, and have a cat. FML

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Troublemaker

Anonymous - 11/01/2022 05:01

Today, a new hire at my workplace, who is already on probation, yelled at me about filing an HR complaint about him. I had customers, who definitely heard. I've never filed a complaint. FML

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Class warfare

lordoftheweird - 02/01/2022 11:01 - Canada - Ladysmith

Today, i had to explain to two different adults that being illiterate is a valid reason to fire them. I have absolutely no idea how they were hired in the first place. FML

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157

Wage slavery

Anonymous - 10/12/2021 10:59

Today, my coworker tested positive for Covid. Here's to working 11 hours shifts for the next 10 days to help cover. FML

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129

Sneaky

Loser - 08/12/2021 10:58

Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML

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Meritocracy

DazedAndConfused - 14/11/2021 11:00

Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, our little family business was asked to do a presentation at my daughter's school. When we got there and I saw her, I waved to her happily but she totally blanked me, plus my super strict mom smacked me on the back of the head for embarrassing her by not acting professionally while I was technically working. FML

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Today, at work, I had received a lot of phone calls. I thought maybe it was a scammer line because I never receive calls. Turns out my phone number is the same as a character's number in a TV show. FML

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Today, after a lifetime of being single, my parents finally found me a nice, intelligent, pretty girl. I was really excited, until she backed out on me when she found out our star signs don't match. FML

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Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

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Today, I’ve had to spend $300 out of my savings account for my doctor's appointment to get another 90-day supply. Health insurance is way too expensive, as I'm a student and work part time, and haven’t had luck in finding a job. How am I supposed to save for a car in the meantime? FML

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Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML

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