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Oh wow, that's rude

By Nena - 26/12/2025 03:00

Today, I posted a meme on Facebook that said, “Dear Santa, I want a man who’s at least 6ft tall, abs, can plan dates, texts back, has a job and a car.” A friend of mine commented, “Dear Santa, I want a girl under 150lbs, no kids, no emotional baggage, self sufficient and doesn’t bitch 24/7.” His comment got 25 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 760

Perfect

By AITA - 05/01/2026 20:00

Today, I opened the bathroom door without knocking and walked in on my wife’s sister (who lives with us) showering naked. Seeing her perfect, drenched body turned me on. I'm now unable to get an erection with my wife, because I can’t remember the last time her body looked like that. I feel awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 413

He's a keeper

By Stephy - 21/01/2026 20:00

Today, my husband asked if he could join Tinder for some “hookups and that’s it” because he’s tired of jerking off. I told him, “Absolutely not.” He thinks I’m being selfish and inconsiderate. I’m 7 months pregnant; in fact, I offered to have pregnant sex with him. He said that my belly turns him off, “no offense.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 88

Sleepy head

By Anonymous - 25/01/2026 09:00

Today, my son hid under coats and bags in the back seat of my work van to scare me, but fell asleep under there. I didn’t realise this until my wife rang me hysterical that he was missing. I was 80 miles away already on a job when I found the sleepy little git back there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 71

Oddly specific

By Erica - 01/02/2026 09:00

Today, the guy I'd met online ghosted me because I’d left dead skin residue on his toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 357

Fight like hell

By Anonymous - 09/03/2026 00:00

Today, Social Services took my recently deceased girlfriend's kids. I've loved those kids for almost 10 years and now I might never see them again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 99

Be careful what you wish for

By Cucked - 16/03/2026 03:00

Today, my wife agreed to live out my cuckold fantasy. I was watching her bang some guy from Tinder when my stomach suddenly turned and I realized I wasn't enjoying this as much as I hoped. I asked them to stop. They laughed and continued. I'm puking in the toilet and I can still hear them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 709

Parental control

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 09:00

Today, I learned that CPS still won't take my sister's kids away from her, even though they are living in literal squalor and filth. They run away to my house all the time and I constantly have to give them back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 67

Advice wanted

By Anonymous - 08/04/2026 09:00 - United States - Corona

Today, I’m about to lose the love of my life. I love this man with every fiber of my being, but his kids are absolute fucking monsters. They treat me like shit and he doesn’t intervene. I’m so heartbroken, but what else can I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 88

Do not overreact

By Anonymous - 07/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my grandma passed away the morning of my wedding a couple of days ago and my (soon-to-be ex) husband and so-called family all conspired to keep it a secret from me so as not to upset me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 450

Pipe down

By Anonymous - 15/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband is threatening divorce because I loudly objected at his daughter's wedding and made a scene. His daughter is 19 and got married to a 40-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 478

Cuckoo

By Fuck them both - 26/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, my mom gave me thirty days notice to find an apartment and move out. Why? She's dating my former best friend and wants to move him in, but he won't do it until I'm gone because it would be "awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 71

Torture

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, at my job at the mall, our music malfunctioned and now will only play the same three songs over and over again. Our manager won't let us turn it off because "the customers won't notice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 749

You deserved it 1 782

Careful

By wowawesome - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 455

Extreme disorderly conduct

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 493

She's lost control

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 92

Ewww!

By M…… - 27/06/2025 09:00 - Netherlands

Today, I went for a quick piss at a restaurant. As I walked out the door, a little kid in the bathroom yelled, "HEY MISTER, YOU FORGOT TO WASH YOUR HANDS!" Everyone in the dining room stared, including my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 1 038

Make your mind up!

By EpicOracle - 04/07/2025 12:00 - Nigeria

Today, my ex, who has been asking me to get back with her, told me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me when I asked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 303

Thanks, I guess

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, my best friend got married. I had introduced her to her now husband, and ever since she has basically acted like I don't exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 92

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 22/07/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 113

Do my eyes deceive me?

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, I received the ticket for my upcoming flight. The booking reference code is “CR4SH”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 83

Level playing field

By Ughhh - 19/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my husband got upset that I'm not willing to explore weird kinks with him. I had a wild phase when I was younger, and he didn't, so he thinks it's unfair that I got to experiment and he didn't. Sorry you don't know what you like, but I'm not your sex toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 756

Pissed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 727

You deserved it 6 586

Spice it up

By Jan - 13/10/2025 20:00

Today, my husband came home, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Furious, I shrieked to be put down and demanded an explanation. He said, "I thought you wanted us to be more spontaneous…" Apparently, that means he should treat me like a sex toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 943

Tough luck

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 12:00

Today, as if it wasn’t bad enough my dumbass daughter would seduce and hookup with my boyfriends throughout her teenage years, she’s now ruined her own marriage by sleeping with married men, and wants to move back in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 198

Skint

By Cheap date - 30/10/2025 15:00

Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 878

Run for the hills

By Ih8meself - 10/11/2025 03:00

Today, my fiance told me that if I don’t “get on Ozempic or some shit” by our honeymoon, he won’t consummate the marriage. Half an hour later he told me to make some breakfast because he was hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 147

Hey big spender!

By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 22:00

Today, I received a food delivery. The bag was huge. I thought the restaurant had made a mistake and given me extra food. I checked the receipt; it said, “Special note: For our hungriest customer. Extra napkins!” They'd remembered me from last time I ordered a ton of food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 326

Tired and emotional

By Tired mommy - 19/11/2025 00:00

Tonight, my 7-year-old begged me for a bedtime story. Ten minutes in, I was the one nodding off while he was wide awake. I fell asleep mid-sentence because he gently shook me and said, “Mom, you snore like a Grandpa.” Then he asked if I could “try again but stay awake this time.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 178

Many such cases

By Lonely Melanie - 20/11/2025 20:00

Today, in a bustling store, a woman waved at me. I didn’t recognize her but waved back enthusiastically and approached her. She frowned and said, “I was waving at my daughter.” Her daughter was behind me. A store clerk saw the whole thing and said, “Happens a lot to lonely people.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 116

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The Top

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 956

You deserved it 3 373

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lives two hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 408

You deserved it 4 463

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 176

You deserved it 65 408

Today, we had a patient projectile vomiting in our ambulance. I didn't know she had puked on our cot until I found it with my bare hand at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 405

You deserved it 208

Today, my girl sent me a naked booty pic, telling me not to be late home. When I got home, she was in dirty old sweatpants, too upset for sex because her celebrity crush died. Not in real life, in one of the TV shows she's watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 271

Today, I went in to hug my boss after a big project presentation, all because I misread his body language and thought he was opening his arms to me, but he was actually reaching for his jacket. I basically hugged his sleeve while he stared at me like I’d lost my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 364