Weird, Awkward Miscellaneous You OK dude? - FML

You OK dude?

Anonymous - 15/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Bad timing

oh no - 29/01/2013 14:51 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

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Creeped Out - 29/05/2017 18:00

Today, I went to the grocery store. As I was checking out, I went to grab the same item that the cashier was reaching for. He brushed my hand. He then both watched me creepily and asked my what lotion I used to make my hands so soft. When I left, he said, "I'll dream of you." FML

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EmbarrassedChild - 30/07/2015 23:24 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

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Good one

Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

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The Conquest of Bread

Anonymous - 26/04/2021 11:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

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beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

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Lizofsmeg - 11/05/2012 05:03 - United States

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

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Time to run

Anonymous - 13/03/2012 06:21 - Canada

Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML

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Stolen valor

Anonymous - 08/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, at the grocery store, I saw a woman rubbing her belly lovingly and said, “Aw, congratulations!” She replied, “On what?” There was no baby. Just bread. FML

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External validation

Anonymous - 09/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML

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I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:40

Doughnt let him in your house!

LightningLadyy 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:46

That's not how you feel the bread.. You caress it like it is a beautiful woman.

Arseniy 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 5:38

Ask him to share sence of humor with you

bfflrhea 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 7:22

lmao!!! good luck op(:

barrelroll1472 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 7:39

He's hilarious! why are you complaining?

equineEthic 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 8:48

are you kidding?! I would be HONORED to have this man live in my house.

mandypandypants 4

Sunday 16 January 2011 9:41

Be sure to lock your underwear drawer when you leave. This guy seems like a total creeper.

yogendragusain 12

Sunday 16 January 2011 10:33

he is getting horny

mrjmaster1234 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 12:52

nasty......bread fetishism a serious mental illnes (which is slightly disturbing)

kirashendrickson 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 13:54

oh stop bitching, he was just joking. I'm sure his feelings would be really hurt if he saw this post.

ExposedFlipper 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 14:54

Seems like your gonna have a nice family, huh?

weissesengel 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 15:33

wtfs ur problem? -.- i do that all the time. i dnt mind embaressing myself and/or others in publik

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, when I left for work at 7:00 am, my dad was playing Grand Theft Auto 5. When I got home at 3:30, he was still playing. I'm 18 years old. He's 45. FML

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Today, because of the gas crisis in my state, we had to stop taking delivers at the pizza place I work at. Someone asked if we could walk it to them. My manager agreed. FML

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Today, I got fired after three days at my new job. They told me it was because of downsizing. They were still interviewing people and had a help wanted sign in the window. FML

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Today, I went for a job interview, under the impression that I had taken my allergy medication, and had a sneezing fit. Each sneeze seemed to get louder, and every time I blew my nose, it set the sneezing off again. By the end, the entire interview panel was staring at me in disbelief. FML

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Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

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Today, my wife was talking to our 9 month-old baby. “Your father really is an example.” I smiled, feeling proud, but then she added, “and not a really good one.” FML

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