Health: Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed...

By Anonymous - 06/09/2017 07:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 5 027

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Same thing different taste

By jmac - 11/03/2012 03:06 - United States

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 423

You deserved it 4 304

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 22:00

Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML

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You deserved it 496

Right in the feetsies

By Anonymous - 27/09/2022 00:30

Today, while demonstrating to my wife how I broke my big toe, I broke the little toe on the opposite foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 983

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 969

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 991

By scaryhairy - 04/11/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 012

You deserved it 5 188

By chairlee - 07/11/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 984

You deserved it 5 045

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 07:35

Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 985

You deserved it 10 350

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 14:00 - Malaysia

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 146

You deserved it 3 143

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 747

You deserved it 352

Dave_Davington 33

Wednesday 6 September 2017 16:02

Would I be correct in assuming that your weeaboo phase has fully run it's course?

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 6 September 2017 17:04

This is why we shouldn't play around with swords if we have absolutely no idea what we're doing with them in real life.

Comments

guitarherogeek 22

Thursday 23 April 2020 0:19

Haha what an idiot

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Today, I got a paper cut from a 'get well soon' card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 528

You deserved it 5 702

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 669

You deserved it 2 951

Today, I'm laying in my holiday apartment with the patio doors open, listening to the german man next door take dirty pics of his wife on the balcony. I'm too scared to get up and shut the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 086

You deserved it 1 070

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. This brings me bad news and good news. The bad news, I'm a vegetarian. The good news, I finally know why I've been craving Big Macs for the last two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 882

Today, I gave an online presentation to an important client. After I'd done my thing, I asked if there were any questions. No one responded, so I confidently ended the call… except I hadn’t ended it and they heard me mutter, “Thank fuck that’s over.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 579

Today, I did laundry with one of my new white sweaters and other light-colored clothes. After it all went through the dryer, I found out there are now dark shades on it and it looks like a years-old old sweater, and can't be cleaned. I didn't even get a chance to put it on once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 788