Miscellaneous: What are the odds?

What are the odds?

By pchis4ever - 20/11/2009 18:30 - United States

Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 632

You deserved it 37 149

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 05:32 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 410

You deserved it 2 634

By lifesux - 05/02/2011 21:28 - South Africa

Today, my mom and I were escorted out of the KFC because my mom tried to mug and pick a fight with another customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 061

You deserved it 3 980

Nice try

By bigmouth - 02/08/2009 07:35 - United States

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 815

You deserved it 76 306

And I oop

By SuperBunny - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 021

You deserved it 62 590

Weird flex, but OK

By incestastic - 14/08/2010 23:23 - Canada

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently, my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she's embarrassed of my real brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 500

You deserved it 3 069

My mum is weird

By Anonymous - 03/11/2023 16:00

Today, my mum came to visit me in the country where I'm studying. We went out, and when she saw a dude eating something she liked the look of, she made me run after him to ask where he bought it. The guy was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 122

By crawfo - 31/08/2009 13:54 - Australia

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 364

You deserved it 12 080

By sonofmilf - 17/05/2009 05:46 - United States

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 963

You deserved it 6 420

Nice to meet you… again

By pleaseno - 24/07/2009 00:52 - United States

Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 561

You deserved it 3 155

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 305

You deserved it 33 350

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 20 November 2009 23:14

YDI for eating at KFC, and for thinking "your mom" jokes still hold any comedic value.

rosy_fml 0

Friday 20 November 2009 23:16

You could've just ended with "His mom was in town visiting for the weekend". Don't tell us what to do.

Comments

Witchcraft_fml 4

Saturday 21 November 2009 23:17

I'm going to have to agree with #52 here. Although, "your mom" jokes are old.

xoluvinshayxo 0

Monday 23 November 2009 1:53

wow...chew it over with a twix(;

britty_bee 0

Monday 1 February 2010 10:31

tool alert everyone hahaha. though that is funnnny as.

LMA0x10 0

Monday 1 March 2010 7:04

lmaoo i cannot stop laughing !

rockinkid77 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 18:19

my actual mother makes your mom jokes. and she has walked in when my friends have done things like this and she thinks it's hilarious.

hassenpfeffermmm 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 20:27

KFC tortures their chickens. Pam Anderson has a video about it on the net.

pOTATERS_ 0

Saturday 7 August 2010 6:50

why does everyone end with a question? guess who/what...?

tchaikovsky93 0

Monday 16 August 2010 16:19

Hahahahahahahhagagagagagagagagaga

seb6969 6

Tuesday 1 May 2012 22:28

I love eating KFC. And I love eating your mom.

DeuceMcCoy 0

Thursday 2 August 2012 9:25

in all reality I think she's the bad guy in this.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I couldn't find the keys to open the store I work at. The resulting stress gave me chest pains that ended up sending me to the hospital. I still missed work and my father found the keys under the passenger seat in his car. The same seat I sat in on the way to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 593

You deserved it 529

Today, I found my diamond earring, which had gone missing. The vet had to surgically remove it from my dog. Despite having made the voyage through the dog's digestive tract, the earring is more expensive than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 676

You deserved it 1 919

Today, when I got home, I learned that my five year-old had tried to burn the house down when my wife told him that he needed to stop watching TV. Now we need a counselor and it's going to cost thousands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 114

Today, I finished my 83-page thesis for my Stanford class and put it on my desk. Then, as a prank, my girlfriend hid it. She forgot where she put it. The thesis is due in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 740

You deserved it 667

Today, I found out that my parents have always believed that every single time I have ever showed emotion, I was faking it and that I'm actually a sociopath with no feelings. I was kicked out of the theater department at my college for my poor acting skills, and they know it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 122

Today, one of the guys I work with ran his finger down the back of my shirt and said, "Just checking to see if you're wearing a bra today". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 300

You deserved it 3 193