Miscellaneous: Today, my gym teacher ranted about how the government should...

By GoldenSteve - 05/11/2015 15:31 - United States - Humble

Today, my gym teacher ranted about how the government should put all the death row inmates in a coliseum and film them fighting. I guess he lied when he said he only drinks at the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 484

You deserved it 2 552

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Same thing different taste

By cthulhu help me - 01/03/2013 18:22 - United States - Cabot

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 678

You deserved it 2 839

By failure - 22/09/2011 18:36 - United States

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 801

You deserved it 5 051

By juggalomurderer59 - 12/11/2014 16:00 - United States

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 809

You deserved it 9 544

Am I being detained?

By JimmyT - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Norway - Bergen

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water, and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 044

You deserved it 14 499

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 13:39 - United States

Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 365

You deserved it 9 690

Overreacting a tad

By phonnah - 20/06/2012 17:59 - United States - Bowie

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking Gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 401

You deserved it 3 235

Just the two of us

By Anonymous - 15/04/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I was at the gym, well intent on trying a new workout class. I was the only person in the class and the instructor was clearly disappointed. He reluctantly gave me the class but I could tell he was hating the whole experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 131

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 19:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 580

You deserved it 2 632

By burnbabyburn - 11/11/2015 17:47 - United Kingdom

Today, a student set me on fire while I was lecturing my class about proper lab safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 372

You deserved it 2 127

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 677

You deserved it 2 465

higgysaurus 18

Thursday 5 November 2015 18:58

That gym teacher has some great ideas.

Tripartita 44

Thursday 5 November 2015 18:56

Listening to insane rambling > gym class Or maybe I'm just a lazy ass.

Comments

me1224 12

Thursday 5 November 2015 20:18

I'd pay to see that Hunger Games

Kitagora 9

Thursday 5 November 2015 20:20

I had a science teacher who thought we should use death row inmates as organ donors. Can't say I entirely disagree with the idea.

thisisthestupid 18

Thursday 5 November 2015 20:24

That's a great idea! 85% of us have to go anyway for the world to not be over populated

apcsox 18

Thursday 5 November 2015 20:27

I agree. Why aren't we funding this?!?

allforfun 23

Thursday 5 November 2015 20:33

Dude you live in Texas, you kill the most death row inmates every year. I'm not shocked at all.

DesolateTree 12

Thursday 5 November 2015 20:35

Yeah your life sucks because you're a boring kid with no sense of humor.

saidaswear 20

Thursday 5 November 2015 20:37

I actually think that'd be pretty cool.

Richard6036 13

Thursday 5 November 2015 20:40

I'm sorry to tell you but you have been awesome gym teacher but I say put them on an island let them fight to the death and they can only be three survivors those men will earn their freedom