Miscellaneous: Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper....

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 788

You deserved it 4 997

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Same thing different taste

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 245

By Anon - 04/08/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 067

You deserved it 4 129

By itchybollos - 16/09/2010 09:04 - Australia

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 078

You deserved it 3 350

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 525

You deserved it 4 182

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 181

You deserved it 3 837

By Nick Pat - 30/09/2015 13:13

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 690

You deserved it 2 966

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 510

You deserved it 6 832

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 345

You deserved it 6 844

By annonymous - 18/06/2012 01:57 - United States

Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 369

You deserved it 2 045

By costcocondoms - 23/07/2009 05:23 - Mexico

Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner, and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me, I heard somebody say, "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 989

You deserved it 9 649

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:07

Ha ha! Your dad is awesome! If the guys have any sense of humour they will know your dad was taking the piss out of you. But then again it could be your dads way of keeping you away from boys. Either way Dad: 1 Daughter: 0

roxii__x 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:06

"URRRRGH, DAD!"

Comments

madame_malfoy 4

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:13

LMFAO...my dad would so do that...i just facepalm and walk away...or if I'm in mood...say something along those lines back to him...probably about how he shouldn't blame his "issues" on me and it was nothing to be embarressed about...most he'd do to me is yank my hair or pull my nose or something LMAO

shmoop 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:40

Why can those saying "it's ok you'll never see the guys again" see the words "two attractive guys THAT I KNOW"?

fcuk_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 22:00

it was funny! get over it.

shamille 5

Tuesday 31 March 2009 22:01

how about "my dad calls me babe. fml"

lifeftl 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 22:04

dude, your dad would be awesome to hang with

lazylacey 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 22:18

ugh dads. they're so embarrassing. my dad embarrasses me everytime we hang out.... haha.

jayfx 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 22:25

LOL!!

nafiul93 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 22:56

shoulda gotten over emotional and made him feel bad lol

No_Words24 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 23:04

hahahahahahahaha!!!!! dads will be dads!! my dad made my last boyfriend take a driving test in order to allow me to ride with him!! all u gotta do is be a model daughter to them and then u guilt them into doing things ur way!!