Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed...

By thetalkingvagina - 09/06/2010 11:34 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 938

You deserved it 18 545

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 346

You deserved it 2 779

By Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 852

You deserved it 53 791

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 671

You deserved it 9 539

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 749

You deserved it 25 788

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 15:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 569

You deserved it 11 828

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 021

You deserved it 14 604

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 811

You deserved it 4 453

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 790

You deserved it 8 010

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 381

You deserved it 4 930

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 547

You deserved it 5 029

We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 16:07

Boyfriend Win, simply put.

okieraider71 4

Wednesday 9 June 2010 16:14

All that evil needs to win the day is for men of good character to do nothing. All hail the great penis.

Comments

Pixxiedust 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 14:45

Omg!! Lol!!! Eww eww eww! XD Wow, total mood killer, or pee urself laughing? ;)

bloodgirl_fml 5

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:15

hahaha thats totally an epic win! but i mean its not that bad, he just had his childish moment! ;) lol

GoodmanJ 0

Sunday 16 October 2011 7:10

Yet the person wh o put this up is called " the talking ******"?

Bcfrmkc816 17

Thursday 3 November 2011 4:15

Lmao that's a good one thanks for the laugh

MrIncredibleSME 3

Sunday 13 November 2011 2:37

You should've said something about the great penis being indisposed, so you'll settle for the little prick that happens to be around. Oh, and something about wearing full armor when matching into the battlefield, lest ye olde seed be released and set forth to pillage, loot and plunder. I put way too much thought into this. I need a hobby. Or a friend... (sarcasm)... or is it? (yes). Man these are some good pills... (sarcasm)... or is it? (no. it's an addiction) (sarcasm)