Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their...

By Pissedoff777 - 12/08/2011 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 420

You deserved it 7 897

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Same thing different taste

By Juiced - 26/09/2012 18:46 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 541

You deserved it 3 391

WTF dude?

By lunarstrain - 08/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 163

You deserved it 8 550

Tasty!

By Username - 31/01/2011 15:47

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 115

You deserved it 5 735

Oh, so cute

By Anonymous - 10/04/2013 04:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 998

You deserved it 13 230

Thanks, I guess…

By edible - 20/05/2009 20:01 - United States

Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 561

You deserved it 4 098

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 328

You deserved it 4 394

Beautiful

By Anonymous - 10/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend wrote me poetry. Here's how it went: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your tits." That's the most romantic thing he's done for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 438

You deserved it 478

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 835

You deserved it 8 841

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 659

You deserved it 6 681

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 092

You deserved it 6 602

360XBOXFTW 0

Friday 12 August 2011 11:55

How sweet of him :)

toelie 26

Friday 12 August 2011 11:57

So, does it?

Comments

VirgilLovesYou 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 2:04

Would you prefer bitter salty man milk? No? Then stfu.

BennyBear 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 3:24

That actually is sweet of him. I vomited the first time my bf shot in my mouth.

hImAnAm3iZsUzi3 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 3:43

Thank him 4 it :DDD LOLZ EVERYDAY IM SHUFFLING

djlolo1129 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 4:39

so does it taste better??

heather19mr 5

Saturday 13 August 2011 4:49

my husband has done that :/

DrewsFML 8

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:17

Tell him if he really wants you to enjoy his ****** more he should buy you a box of chocolates for you to eat while he whacks off into a sock in the next room.

FrankieLynn 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:34

he has strong motive to attempt to intice you into pleasuring him lol like you saying pulling on his ears will make his penis grow

katyglaze 3

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:40

That's the most romantic thing he's ever done for you???? Why the low self esteem and self worth?? You deserve better than that - that's not romantic. That's selfish. Romantic is going out and buying you lingerie to wear for him, not eating fruit to make his juice "taste better" when YOU'RE doing HIM the favor. Tell him to take the fruit and shove it up his ass.