Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2...

By anonymous - 11/02/2012 05:57 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 007

You deserved it 5 647

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Same thing different taste

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 854

You deserved it 5 313

Bragging

By lastalittlelonger - 05/12/2009 09:07 - United States

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 752

You deserved it 3 184

By user210 - 26/03/2012 03:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 124

You deserved it 4 091

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 914

You deserved it 6 166

Great timing

By letdown - 19/07/2020 14:01

Today, I finally had sex with a coworker I’d been flirting with for nearly 2 and half years. The sex lasted less than 2 and a half minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 732

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 035

You deserved it 3 085

By Sooz - 03/10/2013 01:18 - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 438

You deserved it 5 847

Poor performance

By Anonymous - 28/12/2022 03:00

Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 331

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 1 817

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 850

You deserved it 4 743

Cavebone 5

Saturday 11 February 2012 12:07

that's a solid 50% improvement.

DalPozzo13 10

Saturday 11 February 2012 12:06

That's sad, my dog has gotten it on with a pillow longer than that haha

Comments

alera_fml 12

Sunday 29 April 2012 7:15

If he has trouble in that department, you can try toys or more foreplay. That way you can be climaxing when he does, and not so depressed.

Bandicoot88 16

Monday 23 March 2015 1:50

You've gotta make him bust by doin other things before you guys have sex. Then he'll last longer during

jaydoo 6

Thursday 23 March 2017 21:46

Did you get off?

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The Top

Today, my mom was on the phone when she decided to blurt out that she got me probiotics for my stomach issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 167

Today, a woman was standing in front of me in line. There was a strand of hair on her back, so to be nice, I pulled it off her. It was still attached to her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 563

You deserved it 7 823

Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 189

You deserved it 164

Today, I had an epic, two-hour conversation with a brilliant, beautiful future leader of our industry. She's an intern. I'm just some loser horndog of a senior manager in another department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 566

Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 414

You deserved it 3 724

Today, I found out why people in my new neighborhood keep giving me weird looks. For a laugh, my brother had gone around telling them I'm a parolee, and implying that I couldn't be trusted around their children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 646

You deserved it 1 332