Miscellaneous: Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of...

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 06:28 - United States

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 137

You deserved it 30 398

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 214

You deserved it 4 089

By mydadforgetsme - 04/11/2015 17:26 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 699

You deserved it 1 472

The blame game

By Anonymous - 12/01/2016 14:44

Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 802

You deserved it 1 915

By msj137 - 17/07/2009 07:25 - United States

Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 170

You deserved it 2 852

By ZeroApostle4Ever - 23/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 092

You deserved it 6 608

By Kyle - 05/01/2012 06:58 - United States

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 928

You deserved it 35 976

Happy birthday indeed

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 15:00

Today, it was my birthday. I had an appointment at the dentist and went to do some shopping after that. A while after I got home, I met my dad and he just started complaining that I didn't spend any time with them on my birthday. When I tried to explain to him, he just got angry at me and started yelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 65

By Happy Birthday - 10/07/2018 15:00

Today, my Dad gave me my birthday card. The envelope was blank, as was the card, and the £0.25 price tag was still on. He was fully aware of all these things, but handed it to me and said, "By the way, I didn't write anything." Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 592

You deserved it 254

By rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 630

You deserved it 31 065

Lovely

By sigh - 18/11/2019 01:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they'd remembered, my dad's reaction was, "Oh! Really?" My mom's was, "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 362

You deserved it 203

FATSQUIRELL69 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 16:23

lmfao hahah your dad is funny, hes just probably joking around, most parents do that

breenntt 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 16:23

lmao. this made my day.

Comments

greatwyt 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 18:18

lol lets hope he doesnt try rubbing that on his forehead

pompousjackass 10

Sunday 17 October 2010 18:20

Don't give it if you can't take it.

eatshitplease 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 18:22

whoa didnt see that coming... :| not.

edelmaniac11 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 18:48

kind of a crappy gift

AlvaTheStarvingA 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 19:09

Yes, 49. *O* His name is Oliver Pumblechook. OP for short, you see?

Marshmallowgirl 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 19:18

Sucks. Sorry

just_laugh_along 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 19:22

Get a sense of humor.

biskitbukit 7

Sunday 17 October 2010 19:26

Your dad's funny.

l3allin_all_day 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 19:37

its eminems birthday today

iPunchedBigFoot 5

Sunday 17 October 2010 19:39

Lol I have one of those, and my friend did that to me when he saw it.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him, "About a dollar?" He said, "Wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 505

You deserved it 3 058

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 189

You deserved it 3 057

Today, my boyfriend wanted to get into an open relationship. He has no romantic feelings for me anymore, but he didn't want to separate from my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 168

You deserved it 1 381

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 3 811

Today, while driving, a spider crawled onto my gearstick. Not being afraid of them, I casually flicked it off. Onto the person sitting next to me. The person evaluating me for my driving test at the time, who happened to be arachnophobic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 133

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 528

You deserved it 66 060