Money: Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I... - FML

By anonymous - 17/05/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 826

You deserved it 28 410

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

So close

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 06:00

Today, not only did my ex-wife take everything in our divorce, my most recent lottery ticket was off by only one number, I would have won millions and she wouldn’t have been entitled to a penny. Oh well, back to sleeping in my caravan, which is all I have left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 155

By LD619 - 16/12/2010 05:51 - United States

Today, I gave my ex-girlfriend two concert tickets to show her I still care about her and want to win her back. She sold them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 597

You deserved it 44 642

Chill, lady

By kerensa - 15/07/2012 05:51 - Australia - Mornington

Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 654

You deserved it 2 255

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 09:07 - Canada

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 402

You deserved it 6 095

Fate

By D-Man - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a coworker. I got her the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 636

You deserved it 4 217

By an unlucky man - 05/08/2016 09:37 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 059

You deserved it 3 114

By notsolucky - 28/08/2013 21:47 - United States - Stamford

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 240

You deserved it 3 485

Idiot tax

By Dumbass - 16/11/2025 20:00

Today, my boyfriend came home, complaining about not having enough money for bills. He then pulled a stack of lottery tickets out of his bag, saying, "I hope one of these wins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 84

By whereismyring - 28/03/2016 00:47 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex-boyfriend announced he was engaged. We broke up last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 672

You deserved it 1 725

A Dog's Love = Priceless

By Sudokori - 29/08/2017 20:00

Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 401

You deserved it 668

Next

Top comments

SeasonedLemur 5

Wednesday 18 May 2011 0:15

Shiiiiiit! ****! that's literally THE worst fml I've ever read! if this fmls genuine I'm really really sorry for you mate! If I was in your shoes I'd probably shoot myself! But don't! I'd suggest pretending to have left something at her place, go round and rob the bitch!! Good luck fella.

james_aka_frosty 3

Wednesday 18 May 2011 0:35

even with the correction it doesn't make sense

Comments

MerNoEngrush 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 0:52

was it the $8 winnings or the big $1 milllion? because if it was $8 who gives a ****.

sheethapins 13

Wednesday 18 May 2011 0:53

Your ex = Win. Literally.

imOaks 3

Wednesday 18 May 2011 0:57

Silly Mississippians.

KagiKayla 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 1:05

Haha INSTANT KARMA!!!

lies_ah 3

Wednesday 18 May 2011 1:11

how much???

Bofferding_fml 6

Wednesday 18 May 2011 1:12

legally the money belongs to the person who has the ticket at the moment the winner is announced, not the one who bought it. so bad luck for you

TurnpikeTwister 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 1:12

fuct

tjsomethin 9

Wednesday 18 May 2011 1:19

She's obviously going to spend it on male prostitutes that are way better at sex than you are.

kasey3591 3

Wednesday 18 May 2011 1:21

hell hath no furry like that of a woman's scorn :)

massacreman3000 1

Wednesday 18 May 2011 1:22

you bought it, get it back

1
2
3
4
5
6

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I was supposed to be treating myself to a relaxing spa day, thinking it would be a great way to unwind. That was until the massage therapist somehow gave me a "reverse" massage that left me sore in places I didn’t know could get sore. I paid for this torture, and now I can’t even walk properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 114

Today, there was a big cake at the office. I thought it was funny to pretend to push the cute girl in the office into it. She laughed, but then lost her balance and fell forward. Everyone saw. Turns out she’s allergic to coconut, even just the shavings on a cake, and had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 759

You deserved it 44 717

Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 601

You deserved it 517

Today, I got a call from the wife, but I was asleep so she left a voicemail. Seems like she accidentally called while sleeping with another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 255

You deserved it 363

Today, I was pulled over by a cop and was fined $210 for making an illegal u-turn. When the cop finished writing my ticket and hopped in his car, he made the same u-turn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 799

You deserved it 7 471

Today, I moved into a new apartment. While moving boxes, I ran into my supervisor from work. Guess who lives across the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 163

You deserved it 942