Alcohol, Drunk, Weird and Parents: Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad...

By :// - 05/11/2013 21:01 - United States - Romulus

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 773

You deserved it 3 758

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 113

You deserved it 3 063

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 554

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 753

You deserved it 2 763

By mikey51 - 10/03/2012 01:56 - Australia

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 650

You deserved it 41 613

Skittish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 190

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 09:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 800

You deserved it 10 109

By Deadman - 02/04/2012 13:37 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 908

You deserved it 2 535

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 687

You deserved it 3 400

By mydadsawsooomuch - 17/11/2010 13:26 - United States

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 175

You deserved it 9 834

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 550

You deserved it 4 968

Welshite 39

Tuesday 5 November 2013 23:16

That's when you push him off the toilet and scream"Gandalf!" Trust me, he won't be mad or anything.

kimblie 15

Tuesday 5 November 2013 23:17

at least he's an amusing drunk?

Comments

Thunderstruck14 30

Tuesday 5 November 2013 23:59

I guess you'll be forced to participate in No Shave November this year.

grtfuldeadlovr 27

Wednesday 6 November 2013 0:22

You just woke up to shave?? Part of this doesn't make sense.

juarezj96 12

Wednesday 6 November 2013 0:33

That's the perfect time to ask for something ;) it'll be a yes

8born8 18

Wednesday 6 November 2013 0:54

If he's not "David Hasselhoff lying on the floor trying to eat greasy fast food while slurring incoherent ramblings" drunk, then I'd say he's just had a good time.