Sex and Intimacy: Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in...

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 152 013

You deserved it 40 668

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Same thing different taste

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 383

You deserved it 1 538

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 408

You deserved it 359

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 127

You deserved it 7 779

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 415

You deserved it 17 929

Bragging

By lastalittlelonger - 05/12/2009 09:07 - United States

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 752

You deserved it 3 183

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 561

You deserved it 6 881

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 06:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 056

You deserved it 4 845

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 886

You deserved it 6 068

Do me

By noneofthesex - 10/02/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 562

You deserved it 12 165

By okay._. - 01/11/2012 07:54 - United States - Marysville

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 537

You deserved it 7 422

latuka 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 16:03

OUCH.

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 17 March 2009 16:08

So he couldn't be arsed to have phone sex? So what? Usually it takes a long time and the guy could have brought himself to ****** at least twice by the time the dirty talk turns the women on enough to climax. I see no FML here. More like FMF (**** my fingers). Buy a vibrator. On a side note it's really his loss. Phone sex can be very hot. :)

Comments

AlexJakubsen1 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:01

maybe you just need to lose weight baby. hahaha

arms_akimbo 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:06

Not everyone's schedule revolves around you, OP. Some of us have to get up early tomorrow. We aren't just going to drop everything just because you're in the mood.

LifeSux19 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:33

LMFAO Its time for you to get a virbrator.

Bubs_fml 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:33

#29: "stop a minute or two before he has to come (when he says its going to be close) then tell him he has hands and point him to the bathroom." ^ ^ Now, that isn't even a suitable "revenge" for the boyfriend not being able to drop what he's doing or not sleep because she's in the mood. That, my friend, is a real bitch move. Just stopping in the middle of sex and telling him to finish himself? For what, revenge because he wasn't able to answer your beck and call? If a girl ever did that to me, instead of going to the bathroom, I would get dressed, walk out and never speak to her again. Then again, I would never just go "Hey, get over here, bitch. I'm horny." Maybe I'm just a little less concerned about myself and more interested in keeping other people happy.

liveitlearnit 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:44

hahahah my boyfriend does shit like this. get over it though, you really DO have fingers.

JuJuBeeSunshine 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:55

@ #37, 6 months? You don't have to be hoe, but how old are we again? This isn't high school. "True love" isn't waiting anymore. @ #43, you're right; it isn't the same. It sometimes is better.