Health: Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard...

By Stuck - 08/09/2011 10:00 - United States

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 339

You deserved it 67 845

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/09/2013 16:38 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 027

You deserved it 3 598

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 899

You deserved it 4 475

Hole in one

By Anonymous - 24/04/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I got a tooth pulled out. I now have a hole connecting my mouth to my nose. Drinking and eating is whole new experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 103

By Beaky - 12/10/2011 05:09 - Canada

Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 109

You deserved it 50 050

By KnuckleSandwich - 20/07/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 678

You deserved it 3 756

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 349

You deserved it 29 721

By meh - 04/01/2010 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the dentist to get a baby tooth which had decayed removed. After almost an hour, I came out with a numb mouth and a missing tooth for life. It was not a baby tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 098

You deserved it 6 532

For science

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 11:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 767

You deserved it 250 924

By Anonymous - 08/03/2011 23:23 - United States

Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 884

You deserved it 4 910

By Sophie - 17/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 965

You deserved it 3 746

marinus_fml 19

Thursday 8 September 2011 15:55

You need to brighten up a little.

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

Thursday 8 September 2011 17:39

Am I the only on who wants to test this now? Anyone? I guess it's just me then..

Comments

Shytinonmyself 3

Friday 9 September 2011 3:46

ydi for not paying attention when they say don't try this at home on jackass

alexd375 2

Friday 9 September 2011 3:53

you need to b put down

elijahwilson 0

Friday 9 September 2011 3:54

Thanks buddy that made me try it. I couldn't get it out either

Naruto11232 0

Friday 9 September 2011 4:23

what did ur parents say

oops_im_fucked 8

Friday 9 September 2011 4:26

At least you didn't bite down and break the bulb in your mouth...

abethehonest 4

Friday 9 September 2011 4:27

at least it didn't break

DejaRasch 0

Friday 9 September 2011 4:28

I am extremely tempted to try this!!

KiraMisa 1

Friday 9 September 2011 4:30

Smart ass x3

takeajoke 5

Friday 9 September 2011 4:42

You're a flaming idiot.

mackenziekay 0

Friday 9 September 2011 4:43

all these haters wanna try as well

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Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 459

You deserved it 4 977

Today, my whack job of a father told my 8-year-old son that his cat deserves a bullet to the head for being so damn stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 304

You deserved it 1 886

Today, my family asked me to get dinner, as they'd heard a popular seafood chain had chicken baskets for $4 each. I had $15 on me. When I got there, the restaurant staff laughed in my face and insisted they had never, ever had $4 chicken baskets. The alternative? $14 for ONE chicken dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 186

Today, as always, I'm not allowed to like anything, be it a food, type of music, TV show, book, video game, or even a color, without my parents asking me to explain why I like it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 170

Today, I surprised my four year-old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it "Horny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 197

You deserved it 8 259

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled, "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 815

You deserved it 3 792

Same thing different taste

Hole in one

For science

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