Miscellaneous: Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back...

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 12:17 - United States

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 343

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Top comments

TheAbsentOne 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 15:59

Idiot. FYL.

zarahboo 0

Saturday 12 June 2010 20:24

am i the only one who noticed that the person is actually a woman but illustrated as a man? (look at the original story)

Comments

franceypants 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 3:24

that's why you double check the day before sneaking out dummy

ROBfmlROB 0

Monday 26 September 2011 2:26

This is a copy of that commericial. Fail. Be more original.

anongrl5846 19

Thursday 22 March 2012 19:09

Me 2

StormFML 7

Friday 19 April 2013 4:30

Maybe next time you should being keys or go in through the back smart one. YDI

Circles 18

Friday 16 January 2015 17:57

"You know what's a good idea, posting about this while I wait for my parents to realise I'm out here and give me a beating" -OP

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Keywords

Coworkers Weird Singing Work Embarrassing Motorbike Noise Transportation Scams Love First Dates Friends Cheating Cars Mental health Suspicious Miscellaneous Anxiety Students Ironic NSFW Intimacy Tinder Dating Facebook Awkward Dogs Accident My ex Confused

The Top

Today, according to my emotionally distant boyfriend, stopping by a whorehouse on his way home several nights a week for a quick blowjob isn’t cheating, because it involves cash and no intimacy afterwards. Dumped his ass real quick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 969

You deserved it 207

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315 604

You deserved it 174 179

Random

Today, I decided to pop the question to my beloved. Perfect lighting, fresh cut roses, a fancy dinner. The restaurant was in on it too. Shame they brought out the wedding-themed congratulations dessert before I actually went down on my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 956

You deserved it 1 297

Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 213

You deserved it 7 879

Today, I received a letter from an eBay seller for whom I recently left an honest, negative review. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't ready for what spilled out coating my jeans, shoes, and brand new carpet: Glitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 626

You deserved it 3 185

Today, my father told me to stop purposely singing out of tune because it was annoying. I wasn't doing it on purpose; it's my real voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 502

You deserved it 6 668

Today, it's been about two months since I made my husband sleep in the spare room after an argument. I invited him back to our room after two nights but he refused. Since then he’s moved a TV, Xbox, fridge and new armchair into the spare room, and put a lock on the door only he has a key for. I’ve barely seen him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 2 050

Today, after many days of glances, smiles, and small talk, I tried to kiss a man from my gym in the parking lot. He dodged and asked why. I said I thought it was what he wanted, given his apparent interest. He said that he's only like that because he does missionary work, and wanted to become a friend. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 848