If they click on the floor when he walks....

If they click on the floor I think they're considered talons. One night OP will find his boyfriend doing a falcon screech and flying off into the moonlight.

Long toenails help when climbing trees!

thats really disturbing. is it really THAT bad

That is wrong on so many levels. First off, there is the likely chance your 'nice' methods have already been tried and were unsuccesful. This has nothing to do with control, if anything, it's selfishness of the other party. Secondly, there are plenty of people who will only do something when presented with an ultimate choice (just lazyness mostly). If you weren't a child, you would have clipped your toenails like a grown-up (using the example of the op here). If you can't perform normal hygiene (which this is), you obviously don't feel like a grown-up. Hence, you will not be treated like one.

Why do you let him use his toes for sex? That's how athlete's foot spreads places it shouldn't.

Fair trade.

I understand how you feel OP. My husband has one toenail that grows directly outwards. It's scratchy and disgusting because he never cuts it. He uses it as blackmail to make me get things too by waving it in my face, which doesn't really help my phobia of feet!

That's like me and my boyfriend .. "Brush your teeth or no ******* today"

Ew wtf