Love: Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I...

By Austin Franklin - 18/03/2012 11:41 - United States

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 901

You deserved it 47 429

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Same thing different taste

Poor choice of words

By Jan - 10/06/2022 06:00

Today, I got drunk and tried to talk with my crush. I ended up telling her that she reminded me of my nieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 888

By MC - 15/08/2011 02:51 - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 524

You deserved it 39 632

By O0hdear - 27/08/2015 17:44 - United States - Humble

Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 553

You deserved it 32 642

Party hard

By vcarder - 04/10/2013 20:25 - United States - Newton

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 984

You deserved it 43 219

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 930

You deserved it 38 564

By cdestarac - 10/01/2012 06:07 - United States

Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 163

You deserved it 37 794

Oh, hi…

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 15:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 968

You deserved it 31 237

Basic night out

By Anonymous - 05/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I went out and got very drunk. I talked to a girl and some other people. As the girl left, someone told me to follow her as she didn't seem to know where she was going. As a drunk, socially inept idiot, I did so for about 20 seconds, only for someone to point me out to her and quickly guide her away. Then I lost like £700. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 648

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 697

You deserved it 43 488

Oh, hai Mark!

By SHAME! - 20/05/2019 16:02

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 2 052

Pixxio_O 11

Sunday 18 March 2012 16:11

Awkward moment when he finds out it was his grandma.

ALlamaOnFire 20

Sunday 18 March 2012 16:09

Sigh, which relative was it? Time for the Winsest jokes

Comments

Strafeh 9

Sunday 18 March 2012 16:44

Incest!

Captain_Crankypa 2

Sunday 18 March 2012 16:54

Nothin says lovin quite like a cousin!

FatTony2010 4

Sunday 18 March 2012 16:56

As you do lol

KiwiKitten 2

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:07

Incest is Win-cest! Lol

olpally 32

Sunday 18 March 2012 22:36

NO!! Just NO!!

KiwiKitten 2

Monday 19 March 2012 4:32

Hey there's this awesome new thing called sarcasm. Try it sometime, you could use it.

ddeathbombb 5

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:08

Wow didn't see that coming

jdcg116 10

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:13

the family that lays together stays... oh you get it

HaniahAhmad 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:13

Your family is never going to let you forget about that! Great going op!

texas_redneck88 10

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:14

Keepin' it in the family

amayranii 2

Thursday 29 March 2012 4:18

Ahaha!

Shadowfros 3

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:15

Wincest???

hateevryone 14

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:20

Fail

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The Top

Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 2 778

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 885

You deserved it 5 752

Today, I kept my cats indoors to be safe on Halloween, making sure to keep the food full and litter boxes clean. After dinner, I got dressed up and spent two hours at a party. When I got home, there was a large, rancid butt-loaf waiting on my bed. Unappreciative little fuckers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 879

You deserved it 1 626

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 063

You deserved it 13 989

Today, I remembered that I chose my career of the last decade because, unlike my job in the dying newspaper industry, "concerts aren’t going anywhere." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 542

You deserved it 188

Today, my best friend told me I'm the friend who no one really likes. This was after I had bought her lunch, ice cream, and a ticket to a movie we were going to see that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 665

You deserved it 5 159