Cars, Accident Transportation The Thin White Duke

The Thin White Duke

DJ Clitter - 16/04/2012 19:35 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my daughter when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Mommy - 26/06/2011 20:47 - United States

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

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Both of you are bad

driver26 - - Canada

Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML

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prettyinpurple - 10/02/2009 04:54 - United States

Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML

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Anonymous - 01/02/2012 01:11 - United States

Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

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moxy - 24/01/2011 15:00

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

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Kids these days, eh?

child - 10/12/2015 02:24 - United States - Avon

Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML

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What are the odds?

Anonymous - 25/11/2020 03:00 - Australia - Warners Bay

Today, while driving my car, there was a talk on the radio about road safety. I got so engrossed that I drifted and crashed my car into a sign promoting the talk. FML

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John - 22/08/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

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Crashed - 01/01/2014 18:21 - United States - Evans

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

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Anonymous - 17/02/2014 17:43 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

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BigBoyBounce 5

Tuesday 17 April 2012 2:50

Not only did you almost endanger your daughter, you almost endangered other drivers. People like you don't deserve to have your license.

Mademoiselle_fml 34

Tuesday 17 April 2012 2:57

I don't blame you. David Bowie's one sexy beast ;)

RiceChrispy03 9

Tuesday 17 April 2012 17:09

How about you watch the damn road and pay the fk attention.

alfred07 18

Tuesday 17 April 2012 17:38

Ydi. Keep your attention on the road and dream about David Bowie when doing so won't endanger the lives and well being of those around you.

joanniejore 7

Tuesday 17 April 2012 17:50

Have you watched Labyrinth? David Bowie definitely has the goods.

fanaticdragon 10

Tuesday 17 April 2012 18:13

OP, was it a moonage daydream?

PrettyKookieToo 8

Tuesday 3 July 2012 2:55

I can't believe it took so long till someone made this joke!

kstheman 0

Tuesday 17 April 2012 18:18

David Bowie's awesome! At least ya didn't die

wironandine 8

Tuesday 17 April 2012 19:32

Moron.

dogpup4 23

Tuesday 17 April 2012 20:14

Guess you're just an Absolute Beginner at driving. AAAAAAAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

saidawhiting 14

Tuesday 17 April 2012 23:31

'S okay OP, I daydream about Jareth the Goblin King all the time.

slyace 9

Tuesday 17 April 2012 23:44

Wait what now?!?

ilovedinosawers 17

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:01

Lol and it's a guy daydreaming about him! Hahahah

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

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Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

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Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

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Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off, so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML

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Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

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Today, my friend and I went boating. In the middle of the lake, we decided to jump in. We put our valuables in the boat and jumped in. When I tried to get back in the boat, it flipped over, and our cellphones, along with my car keys, are at the bottom of the lake. FML

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