this is abuse; get a divorce

You are in survival mode because your instincts see your husband as dangerous. This is why you are constantly trying to avoid and deflect conflict because your brain knows that sooner or later the screaming and violent verbal assaults ARE going to turn physical. Call your local domestic abuse hotline and start getting yourself together to get out. You deserve better than this. You don't feel it right now because he's got you running on pure adrenaline and entirely focused on avoiding his temper as well as the fact he's convinced you, the victim, that it's all your fault. It isn't. This is 100% on him. Look up an article online called Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft. You can get it as as a free pdf. Also Google DARVO and read through how abusers work. Recognising that you are in an abusive relationship is the first step to getting out of it. TELL your friends and family what's happening, they are the first line of support and resources. Video or audio recordings of his exploding at you will be invaluable in the divorce, just be careful gathering it. I say again NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED AND THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Not going to lie, I’m a yeller (not threats) but developed it at childhood since my mom was and her father as well, and in the household at the time, it was the only way to be heard. My wife (bless her) isn’t and has in some occasions yelled back, but i found mood stabilizers like depakote has drastically reduced the tendency to do this. Your husband may need a mood stabilizer so he can choose what he says, and not how, limiting spikes in anger, etc… Not sure for others, but i’m on the spectrum and find it difficult to find the correct words and and up getting more frustrated and it lends to a feedback loop. I’m also in therapy for ptsd, and it’s helped greatly. Granted it’s still a road i have to continue, but therapy and some kind of mood stabilizer, even short term might be needed to stop this cycle