Family, Awkward Intimacy Stay classy - FML

Stay classy

Anonymous - 30/12/2010 19:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

nacho - 24/01/2012 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML

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meunluckycharms - 14/09/2015 19:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

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leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

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Thanks, I hate it

Anonymous - 13/03/2014 09:34 - Australia

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

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coffee_princess - 22/07/2010 23:14 - Canada

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

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amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

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Yikes!

Anonymous - 31/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

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Dad jokes, part #23556

ashamed - 28/10/2019 02:00

Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML

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pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

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cgold - 30/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

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wrgfml 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 23:23

Sorry he was such a jerk. He was probably real nervous and blurted. At least that'sy hope. Congrats on the bazongas.

bummervacation 10

Thursday 30 December 2010 23:23

I think you were better off without that asshole.

Mattxy8 5

Thursday 19 May 2011 22:00

nice bozangas ;)

wikkedphuka 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 5:27

thank u for being normal!!!! thats sick who cares if ur nervous .... wierdo!!

bh173 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 23:50

your dads a ******* perve dude..

briissocoollike 8

Monday 15 August 2011 20:05

At least u have big **** BE PROUD OF EM..but it's pretty creepy that ur dad said it so fyl

neilsc 8

Sunday 6 November 2011 22:34

haha love it! This will be a good story to tell your kids someday "Mommy, what was grandpa like?" "Well I never met him till I was older and the first thing he said to me was pretty much I like your boobs" Lol I wanna meet your dad ;)

strawberryspacejam 11

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:26

ur dads a fucktard its gazongas

ElricMustang 23

Sunday 12 February 2012 17:50

He could've been nervous. Or who knows, maybe you forgt to put on all your clothes that day.

babe7260 30

Monday 2 April 2012 16:14

What an asshole, creeper!!thank God he hasn't been around!! You deff weren't missing anything !!!! So sorry that happened

shinedown00 4

Wednesday 17 April 2013 2:22

Nice job ;)

RaynbowRebel 2

Wednesday 2 October 2013 15:31

One word "men."

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times' sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent." I got pranked by myself. FML

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Today, a woman yelled at me to stop following her around the store. We were in IKEA. The only way to get through the store is to follow the arrows through a one-way path. Apparently, no one informed her of this. FML

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Today, my fiancé told me that he expects me to agree to quit my job to cook and clean after we get married, or he will not show up at our wedding. He earns minimum wage and my salary is 17 times higher than his. FML

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Today, I had an hour-long massage, meditated for while and was finally feeling good. Then I had to call an ambulance for my idiot father who had managed to get alcohol poisoning. FML

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Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML

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Today, the maintenance man 'fixed' a leak in my apartment by flooding the place. FML

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