Intimacy Smooth talkin' dude

Smooth talkin' dude

Anonymous - 12/11/2010 01:48 - Canada

Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiancé has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

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Classy

Username - 07/06/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML

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redlips - 09/11/2010 18:06 - Japan

Today, I asked my fiancé what he liked most about being in a relationship with me. His answer? "I can watch your boobs without being called a perv." FML

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Anonymous - 27/10/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

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Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

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Sharibabi65 - 07/03/2012 06:16 - United States

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

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Snufflopagus - 01/01/2014 13:26 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

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Anonymous - 08/09/2015 22:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I'm self-conscious about my B-cup breasts. About 20 minutes later, he pointed to another girl with a small chest and said, "See, you're not the only one with small tits!" FML

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Chipper - 09/08/2018 03:50

Today, my girlfriend and I were laying in bed. She rolled over and began rubbing my chest. She then said, "Wow babe those are a solid B-cup." FML

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miapapaya - 15/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML

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aznbitch 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:05

HAHAHHAHA win

marinus_fml 19

Friday 12 November 2010 9:10

The nicest thing? I don't know what could have been any nicer?

thebamdino 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 7:30

Nice.

pexy_fml 16

Sunday 29 April 2012 19:32

Maybe that is the only good thing you have :p

fyredancer911 3

Tuesday 19 June 2012 10:02

... He doesn't compliment you better and your thinking of MARRYING the guy?

locloves44 3

Monday 30 July 2012 14:38

13 your disgusting

mxij 13

Monday 6 January 2014 14:08

Almost as good as very fuckable *******

jxr24313 5

Wednesday 24 February 2016 21:34

pics or it didnt happen

Nicholas Nelson 4

Monday 22 January 2018 0:21

To be fair - men have been taught from birth that happiness comes from either bewbs or a bottle

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

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Today, after weeks of thinking about how to ask my crush out, I finally was ready to message her on Instagram, only to find out that she unfollowed me after watching my last story. FML

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Today, my boyfriend said he OD’d twice because of me, got sober because of me, and is done “trying.” I bought him a car yesterday and he hasn’t paid rent or bills in almost two years. FML

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Today, my 8-year-old son decided to make some rice for lunch. When we had it, I noticed a horrid gritty taste. It turns out, he puts dirt in the rice to make "Dirty Rice". FML

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Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML

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Today, I awoke at 3am to a discoloured, swollen and excruciatingly painful left foot. After a visit to the doctor and a CT scan, I was diagnosed with gout - AKA the “rich man’s disease.” I am by no means rich and can barely pass as a man, but still get the agonising condition nonetheless. FML

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