Put your back into it!

By Anonymous - 22/11/2025 20:00

Today, my boyfriend tried to claim he can’t eat me out because he has a short tongue, a genuine medical condition that means he can’t do it properly. Funny, because I’ve seen him use that short tongue to completely clean out a Cadbury Creme Egg before without issue. He’s now sulking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 93

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/07/2019 22:00

Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 769

You deserved it 301

Prince Charming

By muskogee - 20/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 360

By Amelia - 23/06/2019 00:16

Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 242

By Anonymous - 28/11/2017 15:00

Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 184

You deserved it 597

By lorrilanee - 20/11/2010 06:20 - Australia

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 212

You deserved it 5 090

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 925

You deserved it 38 069

Food is food

By Anonymous - 03/07/2023 15:00

Today, my boyfriend picked a scab off of my back and ate it without a moment of hesitation. When I questioned him on it, he nonchalantly replied that he’s been doing it his whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 122

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 192

You deserved it 2 725

My love language is…

By BlueBirdWings - 31/05/2019 02:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 324

Seduction technique

By BlueBirdWings - 06/03/2012 07:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 801

You deserved it 6 811

Vesi 29

Sunday 23 November 2025 4:26

OK he's trying to let you down gently.. either he simply does not like to do that and that is totally legit.. or he has an issue with yours in particular. Try asking him if he just doesn't like or want to do that.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 30 November 2025 4:24

I have an ex who told me he just doesn't like the taste. Not me specifically, just in general. So maybe that's the deal? Not all guys like to do that, and he may just not want to admit it.

Comments

FluffythePink 23

Sunday 23 November 2025 0:20

If they don't give, they don't get. If they bitch about that then it's time to move on.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 23 November 2025 2:35

Pansy...

Vesi 29

Sunday 23 November 2025 4:26

easybree 10

Sunday 23 November 2025 10:08

I’d never be with a guy that doesn’t eat the cat. you should want better for yourself. so many guys do that.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 30 November 2025 4:24

I have an ex who told me he just doesn't like the taste. Not me specifically, just in general. So maybe that's the deal? Not all guys like to do that, and he may just not want to admit it.