Dogs, Drugs Animals Pugs not drugs

Pugs not drugs

Anonymous - 26/10/2011 05:43 - United States

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

dumbdad - 28/12/2009 07:30 - United States

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

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Peta2nNoMore - 04/07/2009 10:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML

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Anonymous - 17/04/2013 15:14 - United States

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML

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ellieowenie - 29/07/2012 08:11 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

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nocatlover - 21/01/2010 21:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

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Targeted strike

Anonymous - 18/05/2023 18:00

Today, my junkie son came to the house showered, in clean clothes, with sobriety chips from NA, full of apologies, and we had a good cry about his recovery. I went to the kitchen for tissues, for less than a minute, but when I got back he’d stolen my purse, television, and spare change jar with about £75 in it. FML

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Anonymous - 07/01/2013 20:01 - United States - Danbury

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

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Future Darwin Award

don'tdrinkthat - - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

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idiot says "you raised him" - 31/05/2014 21:30 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

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The road to hell is paved with good intentions

Anonymous - 24/04/2022 04:00

Today, our dog died suddenly, so I paid for tests to find out why. Turns out she had zero blood sugar, like a diabetic who overdosed on insulin. I’m diabetic and I’m always telling my 6 year-old son it’s medicine to make daddy better. The dog was sick yesterday, and my son knows how I inject. Damn. FML

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Glitterhinoceros 14

Wednesday 26 October 2011 12:21

Dont crush his dream of becoming a dog groomer. I bet he did a lovely job and your just overreacting.

ChaPStikkWhoRe 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 12:16

The dog probably peer pressured your son into getting high and then shaving him!

robbie19837 2

Thursday 27 October 2011 22:14

Ur son doesn't need help

zander4310 5

Friday 28 October 2011 0:56

thats why you dont go home when youre high...

Liyce 10

Friday 28 October 2011 3:57

Lol. That is all.

qtownalex 1

Friday 28 October 2011 4:27

How do you know that he was high? Maybe he did it for fun

rigger61 0

Friday 28 October 2011 6:16

didn't you leave out the part about buying yourslef a new electric shaver? I sure wouldn't use it anymore

arlo1024 0

Saturday 29 October 2011 5:24

Send some to me i need em for um "medical" reasons.

insane247 0

Saturday 29 October 2011 8:49

bull. a normal shaver wud just get jammed on fur and wudnt work. u need clippers to do that

d0ntknow622 3

Saturday 29 October 2011 11:24

Marijuana is not as bad as everyone thinks!! True he did a stupid thing while being high but who hasn't ****** up before? It will be legal once again pretty soon..and I hope they prohibit alcohol in its place. Just my thoughts... And no I am not a lazy pothead who smokes all the time.