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Party animal

Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

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Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

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jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

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toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

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HELP!

SeatofIgnorance -

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

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Thanks, I guess…

Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML

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theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

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hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

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Put the booze down

Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

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catt - 17/10/2014 20:12 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

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PsychoMerk 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 23:53

what.the.****?

InsidiousChild 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 0:32

no, no u's havn't.

theUBERcomment 1

Sunday 1 May 2011 7:20

YOU CAN'T MAKE SAMMICHES IF UR HUNGOVER.

samnasser08 1

Sunday 1 May 2011 7:25

Who the hell does that!? I wouldn't marry him.

Jammin08 1

Sunday 1 May 2011 7:26

Your the idiot for drinking so much YDI OP!=D

Ray_of_midnight 22

Sunday 1 May 2011 7:31

What an ass. He doesn't have to approve of you drinking to excess, but at least he can leave you alone to hurl in peace.

oldenuff2party 3

Sunday 1 May 2011 7:33

he should have helped u out i guess. but he is right. that shit wont fly when ur married with kids

Alyxi 20

Sunday 1 May 2011 12:47

Ok sorry but if my fiance was having fun the night before with her friends or me and I came in n found her gettin sick like that, I'd be taking care of her not treatin her like crap. Marriage and kids doesn't mean you stop living, you do that and you'll go Nuts and the marriage will botch... I know this from a previous abusive marriage I escaped 2 years ago (narrowly escaped but i escaped). She needs to be careful, not get put down by people that have this conformed boxed idea of what things should be like.