Embarrassing, Surgery and Health: Padded out

Padded out

By Ian - 18/04/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 908

You deserved it 6 488

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Same thing different taste

By hurtinrealbad - 16/10/2012 17:25 - United States - Tempe

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 142

You deserved it 1 980

By Britney - 24/10/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 531

You deserved it 2 369

Rock and a hard place

By Mo. - 03/10/2020 01:13 - United States

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 197

Thanks, I'm cured!

By fuauntflo - 07/07/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 182

You deserved it 197

Double down

By coyote - 02/09/2010 07:25 - Japan

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 061

You deserved it 2 810

Silver linings

By Butt Hurt - 10/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I woke up with a big and very painful pimple on the inside of my butt cheek. Because of my Crohn's disease decided to flare up at the same time, my 3 trips to the bathroom at work were only tolerable because I didn't have to deal with rude customers yelling at me for situations I have no control over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 81

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 168

We're keeping you in for observation

By CysterGurl - 18/07/2022 10:00

Today, I got a bartholin cyst drained. The doctor told me to keep it clean and dry, no pain meds given, just swelling and a catheter. I almost passed out a short while afterwards so I went to the ER. Now I’m drugged up and sitting in one spot for the next few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 100

By stitchesupmyass - 01/11/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 4 691

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 159

You deserved it 42 338

CherishFlowers 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:13

LMAO, nice. Imagine if someone heard you changing your pad in the bathroom... haha

Carribu 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:02

How the hell do you get a cyst on your ass?

Comments

Rugger88 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 21:21

sounds like a pilonidal cyst... a maxi pad is the standard dressing used afterward it is also better than a tampon in your nose for a bloody nose... that is used

norrinrad 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 21:42

I had one of those cysts on my butt once from, ironically enough, laying in a hospial bed for a week. Cleaning the wound after the surgery is the most painful thing I have ever done.

rt523 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 23:30

HAHAHAHA. sorry, but welcome to what women get to go through every month.

revezone 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 1:15

dude those cysts suck. all i got was an incision... and i made sure i had enough percosets to last me the whole recovery. that pink stuff is the worst. and women, u dont have to deal with a leaking INCISION... yeah ur panocha leaks every month, but not because you have a huge abcess sliced open leaking pus and blood

mjv8488 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 21:09

hey... this is not funny at all.. i had this done last year and it was on the top part of my crack.... not funny i also had to wear pads for up to 4 months , and sorry... when you have your leaky stuff everyone month women that dont mean you have to shower after every time you take a crap... it sux and it was the worst thing of my life... the medication that was 10x stonger then vicadin was nice though

kark7 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 23:45

why don't you grow a pair! i had the same thing involving 5 surgeries in 2 yrs ruining my whole high school experience. who gives a shit if you had to wear maxi-pads. so did i for a good 6 months including playing my whole sophomore football season with an 9 inch open wound! and having a cyst is very common. ur not the only one!!

youarespecial 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 3:15

yeah dude i had three surgeries on the same thing and it ended my high school football career so shit could be a lot worse for you

yeeeah_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 4:38

i had the same surgery done it reallyyy sucks. and it wouldn't heal for 7 months. but the best part is my mom told everyone i had surgery and they all wanted to see my cool scar! ...which was on my ass crack

dmateo 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 7:34

I have crohns disease and i've had over 20 surgeries removing a recurring abcess from that region. your doctor just want to get a kick out of you wearing a maxipad. and It could be a lot worse. I had one with a cavity so large that it had 20oz of fluid. before my surgery i would black out from the pain.

KyleF1990 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 8:47

Don't worry about it. Cysts are hereitary in my family and my older brother had to wear a maxi pad after he got his operated on. Its not that big of a deal.