Sex and Intimacy: Not going so well, is it?

Not going so well, is it?

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 07:54 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 178

You deserved it 10 112

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Same thing different taste

Found it

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 845

You deserved it 448

Sweet summer child

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 287

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 115

You deserved it 5 631

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 929

You deserved it 9 253

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 241

You deserved it 8 234

Poor perfomance

By Anonymous - 04/08/2022 04:00

Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 115

You deserved it 647

By Anonymous - 27/09/2011 15:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 722

You deserved it 13 009

By thisblows - 16/03/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 860

You deserved it 8 749

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 632

You deserved it 16 457

By Kayt - 03/10/2011 04:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 520

You deserved it 4 662

AGB10 19

Monday 29 July 2013 15:59

That's the perfect time to teach him. He seems sweet enough to care !

Lennes 12

Monday 29 July 2013 16:01

The female body is a flipping mystery to men. However, I've found that a solid diagram works wonders for those willing to learn. :)

Comments

tenac71 6

Monday 29 July 2013 16:50

Good for that kid. honest and willing to learn. communication is key

perdix 29

Monday 29 July 2013 16:58

It could have been worse, he could be aware of your clit and still have failed you.

icepick23 12

Monday 29 July 2013 17:02

Ummm, so, what is it? I'd like to know, as well.

eddeeezzyy 19

Monday 29 July 2013 17:11

Does your boyfriend's name happen to be Stan Marsh?

tegraturbo2000 15

Monday 29 July 2013 17:33

tell him to ask cheif

brosiph_Joseph 8

Monday 29 July 2013 17:46

Ur gay

braceinevitable 8

Monday 29 July 2013 17:41

Gotta teach the kid, both of you will benefit

XistingPrince 9

Monday 29 July 2013 17:42

Well now you know he isn't watching ****?

lifeofpie25 16

Monday 29 July 2013 17:47

yuck

Bluekaren16 19

Monday 29 July 2013 18:11

You're a yuck.

random_commenter 9

Monday 29 July 2013 18:03

There are two traumatic moments in a woman's sex life: 1. Realizing that the partner doesn't know where the ******** is 2. He found it (Bernhard Ludwig: A Guide to Sexual Misery)

kurodansei 16

Monday 29 July 2013 18:31

need some elaboration on nuber 2 here.

random_commenter 9

Monday 29 July 2013 22:57

At least in my experience, most women dislike the typical male notion that the ******** is some kind of "happiness button" that is the one and only way to a female ******. We men tend to forget that it is not entirely sufficient just to "flick the switch"...

love_me_electric 20

Tuesday 30 July 2013 22:35

Most men think the harder they rub it, the better it will feel. They'll rub you down there until you're raw and sore if you let them.

B00K_L0V3R93 31

Monday 29 July 2013 18:04

Wow, that boy needs a lesson in female anatomy 101 ASAP. Poor guy and poor you. FYL

Zebediabolical 40

Monday 29 July 2013 18:25

You are responsible for your own pleasure. You need to show him and teach him what you like. If you aren't wiling to take the time and effort for that you don't deserve an ****** from him giving face.