Nobody wants to dance with me By Lewis - 24/01/2019 00:30 I really don't understand why... I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 137 Share Tweet Share
Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 260 You deserved it 19 209
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 427 You deserved it 539 935
Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML I agree, your life sucks 32 321 You deserved it 2 710
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML I agree, your life sucks 48 413 You deserved it 6 128
Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 476 You deserved it 10 024
Today, I told my mom about the $50 I'd hidden in case of an emergency, and how I couldn't find it. She said she'd borrowed it last week. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 691 You deserved it 185
Today, I learned that my 13 year-old daughter has been wearing the same pad for a week “because there’s no blood on it.” When I told her that it's still disgusting, she tried to defend herself be saying that, "no one ever told her how long she could wear it." FML I agree, your life sucks 366 You deserved it 2 912
That's the best dance ever 😍
Fierce! rawrrr!