Love My nan - FML

My nan

Mandy - 01/03/2009 14:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted me asking if I could go out, to which I replied "No, I'm at my nan's house." He then dumped me, calling me a "cheating whore." I was confused, until I realised I'd misspelt nan and said, "No, I'm at my man's house." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

em - 05/02/2011 09:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML

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nolife - 30/08/2012 01:33 - United States - Richmond

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

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Iamlonesometonight - 26/03/2017 18:47

Today, my now-ex dumped me at a house party, which I then couldn't leave, as all my things were at his house, where I was meant to be staying. FML

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Explain yourself

Anonymous - - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

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The Phone Call

turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

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Dude, chill out

U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

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Reeen - 03/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Pittsboro

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML

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Kev - 20/08/2014 17:53 - United States - Flemington

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

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embarrassed - 21/12/2009 00:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

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Wait, what?

Anonymous - 10/11/2022 06:00

Today, my friend got drunk with me and texted my boyfriend, saying she was in love with him and missed him. Her brother came to my house since she got caught drunk and gave a “lecture” on responsibility. I don't know what’s worse, the lecture or the fact that he’s my boyfriend. FML

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notanightowl 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 20:04

why do you get drunk at your nan's birthday party lol?

jackaaa 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 20:24

Hahaha. Just tell him what you meant to say. It was just a text. Mistakes happen.

BrianPark 4

Saturday 21 April 2012 13:10

haha just explain this situation to him with full of sexiness then something is going to happen . problem solved.

Ninjasaurus18 9

Wednesday 23 May 2012 13:46

Maybe you should just say grandma. Or grandmother. Or Grammy-gram-gram.

klx125cross 9

Friday 10 August 2012 5:16

Well shit....

NaN101 27

Sunday 5 May 2013 17:38

Always double check, always!

Dodgydaly 11

Wednesday 31 July 2013 5:55

never text while drunk

irgndsondepp 15

Friday 29 November 2013 14:25

You actually wouldn't "deserve it", if you hadn't said that you got drunk.

aneonmoose 11

Tuesday 11 March 2014 9:01

Seems like an overreaction. Hopefully he understood after a bit of explaining.

bleedingglitter 24

Thursday 19 March 2015 6:48

Never drink and text. It's just no good.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

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Today, and over the last week, I’ve spent about 10 minutes with my wife over 5 separate occasions because she is married more to her job than to me. And if anyone is interested those 5 occasions were unromantic sex because we’re trying to get pregnant, then straight back to her laptop to work more. FML

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Today, I told my father I registered for the Marines, and that I'm leaving for bootcamp next week. He asked if this means that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. FML

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Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML

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Practice doesn't always make perfect!

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Today, I got the courage to ask my mom if I could go to the movies alone on my first date with my new boyfriend. She said OK, which was surprising because she never lets me go anywhere alone. When I got to the theatre with him I saw my mom. She had saved seats for us. FML

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