Sleep, Creepy, Scary Kids Little shit

Little shit

Anonymous - 28/10/2010 04:44 - Canada

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Braelynn - 26/01/2011 07:48

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

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We're all in hell

Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

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Hard no

Eduardo - 18/04/2021 20:00

Today, my 30-year old cousin, who is unemployed, parasitic and never completed high-school, whose girlfriend is a crack addict, wants to move into my place. He was evicted from an apartment building two weeks ago for assaulting some neighbors. FML

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Anonymous - 11/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for two months. FML

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Freeloadin' freewheelin'

Anonymous - 26/02/2022 04:00

Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML

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The creepy guy next door

Anonymous - 05/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

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Asshats everywhere

404 justice not found - 21/04/2016 19:15 - United States - Whitehall

Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops, and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML

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Anonymous - 06/06/2013 18:47 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

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Anonymous - 22/06/2013 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

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Rising Damp

Anonymous - 18/10/2021 17:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML

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upintheorange 5

Thursday 28 October 2010 12:12

obey him. next time he goes in your room, be masturbating.

maphineRAWRS 10

Thursday 28 October 2010 12:11

how old is he? :S maybe he'll stop.. untill then I vote bear trap at your door. (:

franwins0827 7

Thursday 28 October 2010 22:39

Start punching him in the face every time he does it. Yes, you'll get in trouble, but it will be worth it when he figures out that won't stop you.

rasellersjr 0

Friday 29 October 2010 8:04

Bah, 136 mind your business. It looks fine Catherine.

Lisa89 3

Thursday 28 October 2010 22:58

Totally arrange your pillows so they look like you.. stand in the corner of the room.. then sneak up behind him and shout in his ear... or punch his face. Or Lock the door? tell someone about it?

TheyCallMeThumpe_fml 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 23:00

pretent to be asleep one night, then punch him in the face. Hard. Then say it was a reflex >:)

okibi1 20

Friday 29 October 2010 0:36

depending on how old he is A) punch him out or B) scare the shit out of him by doing the same thing.

LOVEFML25 1

Friday 29 October 2010 0:50

Get him back! Stay up one night, but pretend to be asleep. When he gets close to your bed, jump out and grab him!

varkey 7

Friday 29 October 2010 0:50

buy a lock?

o0Mayralee0o 0

Friday 29 October 2010 1:43

that sounds fucken hilarious!!! but yeah if u want him to stop then set up a trap or something dude

Sorrows 5

Friday 29 October 2010 2:19

Hm, I dunno, ever thought of maybe putting a lock on the door? I know, crazy idea, just came out of nowhere ..

baddays3 0

Friday 29 October 2010 2:40

if ur the one paying for his food stop feeding him! haha that'll showw Himmler

EarAcheMyEYE10 2

Friday 29 October 2010 2:41

I'm gonna go put on a limb and guess you aren't in the same bedroom... it's called a lockable doorknob... get one! if ur in the same room... i have two words for you..."cough syrup"....make sure the little shit gets some!