Poopoo peepee Work Life's good

Life's good

Petergibbons - - United States

Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines, and inadvertently eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 16/09/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

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constipated - 03/06/2017 02:00

Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML

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Lava

not_fakingit - 22/09/2013 04:26 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

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Anonymous - 05/01/2011 20:22 - United States

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

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missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

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Doing my part

Anonymous - 12/04/2025 08:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I didn't feel like cooking when I got home from work, so I decided to go to the local restaurant nearby and do my part in supporting small businesses. Long story short, I woke up later feeling like absolute shit. Hello, food poisoning. FML

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Stuck in a holding pattern

Anonymous - 11/10/2023 21:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, i managed to carve an hour out of my daily working-from-home grind to get some exercise and fresh air, only to spend all of that time stuck in the bathroom trying to take the same shit. I fucking loathe having Crohn's disease. FML

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Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

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Anonymous - 06/06/2015 04:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

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Wise words

Anonymous - 05/01/2022 05:01

Today, I realised that I live to work. I’m not even good at my job. FML

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CallMeHush 0

Friday 5 March 2010 16:17

Don't worry if you ate spoiled meat you won't be constipated for long. Buy some nice soft tissue paper, treat yourself right.

nibawan 0

Friday 5 March 2010 16:07

so quit

CptLazer 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 8:25

I am very sorry.

FockinA 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 0:40

YDI for staing past your prime at your job. get a new one.

dualr 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 5:22

welcome to shitty airlines!

drkirish 0

Monday 11 October 2010 6:24

thats why its called work

alexzannder 0

Friday 11 November 2011 19:26

Easy solution- find another job and quit

writergirl23 19

Wednesday 22 February 2012 9:55

I take it you ate the spoiled meat first

bobman51 15

Monday 21 July 2014 23:56

*THROWS BAG OF ATTENTION

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, we had to give a surprise speech in speech class on two of our best and closest friends. My first friend was my mom. I had to make up the other one. FML

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Today, my phone randomly stopped working and I have three phone interviews. FML

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Today, I was on my way to meet the girl I like at the beach. I parked my truck and walked to the restaurant where I was supposed to meet her. She wasn't there so I called her and she told me she cancelled because it started raining. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. FML

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Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with some kinky role play. I chose a sexy naughty nun's outfit, complete with head cover, thigh-high stockings and crotchless panties. I guess my outfit was a little too convincing, because he couldn’t get it up. Thanks Catholic guilt. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML

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Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

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