Health, Painful Injury JESUS CHRIST! - FML

JESUS CHRIST!

rubmytummy - 10/06/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I was helping my church clean up a park. I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off. About halfway through, I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

PlsForget - 18/08/2016 21:47 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML

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Self report

Bonk - 04/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

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Dumb, but relatable

Maju - 31/10/2019 04:00 - Netherlands

Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML

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You're grounded!

Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

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Accidents will happen

Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

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Jopes - 10/05/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

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Always wear protective gear

Anonymous - 06/06/2020 14:02

Today, while nailing a board down, I hit my thumb with the hammer. As I reached to console my throbbing finger, I dropped the hammer on my foot. When I went down to hold my foot, I smacked my head on the board. Now I've got a concussion, a smashed finger, and a bruised foot. FML

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Dumpstered

KO: - - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

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Feeling real worked out

Anonymous - 11/03/2025 11:00

Today, the lights went out at the gym while I was holding a heavy bar. I tried to put it back on the rack, missed, and dropped it on my toe. Then, as I was limping around in pain, I hit my head on one of the other bars on a rack at head height. FML

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ARE YOU ******* SORRY?

Evelyn - 19/03/2012 20:18 - United States

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

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Poonheart 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 2:02

That must have shattered your shin... -.-

justxmyxluck 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 2:06

I'm cringing just reading this. Well at least you didn't hit your crotch. That would just about kill you. =/

kodi666 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 21:50

Ouch man, sorry to hear that. And #205, **** off. Religion is BULLSHIT.

IAmBridgette 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 10:29

Stephen King anyone? Sorry, couldn't help myself.

beardo66 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 4:40

how the **** do you miss a picnic table

antar_fml 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 2:58

err ...are we supposed to write a fml for everything ?

gslice 0

Friday 19 June 2009 20:28

Hehe, I've smoked myself in the shin with a sledgehammer driving stakes into the ground a few times...

Masta_Blasta 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 16:51

WTF?!

zeos 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 1:02

Daamn I can't believe this.. I would love to do that. You get the chance and this happens... -.-' Anyway how are you now?

_system_ 0

Tuesday 7 July 2009 10:39

YDI for being a Jesus freak. Where was your God to save you on this one?

alexander_ali 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 1:35

retard... he probably has done more in his life than you have ever done.... waste of sperm and egg....*sigh*

daa5849 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 15:43

If your leg isn't shattered, then your a pansy ass little bitch that can't swing a sledge

metro_mello 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:41

Oh stfu. Stop trying to act like your so tuff 234. YOUR the pansy ass bitch how about that. :)

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

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Today, I discovered a bunch of emails from my old account that weren't forwarded to my new one. Because of this, I missed a job offer, as well as all the emails from my long-distance boyfriend asking if he could visit. I still don't have a job, and I broke up with him because he "failed to communicate." FML

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Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

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Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML

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Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML

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Today, I used the “Find My…” app to locate a missing AirPods. Good news: I found them. Bad news: they are inside my dog’s belly. Next stop: Emergency vet. FML

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