Animals It's probably considered art

It's probably considered art

firestar772 - 11/02/2013 15:48 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

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Bad boy

Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

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Good boy

Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

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Toynado

Dad41 - 21/06/2019 12:00

Today, I came home from work and found that my son had taken every single one of his toys out and left them on the floor. Plus some goldfish crackers. FML

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The sweet smell of success

Anonymous - 29/10/2020 11:02

Today, my dad decided to make home-made popcorn. He accidentally used old fish oil instead of mazola oil. Now the house reeks of fish and we can't even throw the popcorn out for fear of attracting wild animals. FML

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A-64 - 08/05/2012 20:48 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

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Help!

ukfan - 06/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

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Anonymous - 11/10/2012 05:08 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

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FishFlingingMonkey - 22/08/2015 03:55 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

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Anonymous - 15/04/2015 22:52 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

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alice_in_mordor 21

Monday 11 February 2013 18:57

Too bad this didn't happen in time for Easter.

Cashtangoteam 10

Monday 11 February 2013 18:58

At least the dog isn't dead.

ydi_4_suking 20

Monday 11 February 2013 20:22

#28 should probably drink more water and healthier foods

wvcheesehead1 9

Monday 11 February 2013 20:26

Just need to change his name to Old Yeller

SuperDanielNL 23

Monday 11 February 2013 20:37

Atleast the turd are easier to spot, think positive.

supportcommand 17

Monday 11 February 2013 21:08

If you eat enough carrots you can turn it orange too.

ICastillo 24

Monday 11 February 2013 21:08

#28 I think you have worms..

onorexveritas 23

Monday 11 February 2013 21:24

that's almost better than the easter bunny ******** jelly beans

Shadow_Phantom 26

Monday 11 February 2013 21:32

...just as I was drinking lemonade. Eyuck.

80sgurl 15

Monday 11 February 2013 21:36

That's fantastic....

ARod11SoCal 4

Monday 11 February 2013 21:37

You have a fruity dog...

jennuhm 4

Monday 11 February 2013 22:52

Poor dog. Imagine how he/she feels. You should be at least talking to a vet.

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Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

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Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML

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Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

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Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

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Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold… and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML

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Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML

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