Diets Health I promise - FML

I promise

Numnum - - United Kingdom

Today, it's decided, I'm going on diet. For real. But I said that yesterday. And the day before. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

dul_fml 2

Sunday 29 November 2009 19:59

This FML is from the United Kingdom. Fail more, #2

Emperor_Jim 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 19:58

Yeah, 'cause there's only one country on the planet that has fat people. Dumbass.

soccer4ever7 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 22:11

ydi you need to watch your weight

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Wednesday 13 April 2022 13:42

It's now 2022. Bet the diet still hasn't started and this is definitely a YDI.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

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Today, the man who fired me from my job became my stepfather. FML

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Today, I found out I have hypersomnia, which is basically being constantly tired. I've been treated with depression for years because the symptoms are similar. I've failed out of college three times because of this. Now, I think I really am depressed. FML

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Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

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Today, three weeks after my sister took in a wounded porcupine from our backyard and let it roam about the house, I learned that it sheds quills from time to time. How did I learn this? By stepping on three of said quills hidden in the carpet. I still have only managed to pull one out. FML

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Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML

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