Health, Cats Animals Hang in there

Hang in there

ouch - - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Caught off guard

dooommage - - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

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Caturday surprise!

keeperstride - - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

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I was right all along

3peeps - - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

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GrossAir

Nolongeracriminal - 05/11/2023 06:11

Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML

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Freak out

zAstonish - - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

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Piss poor prank

peedonme - - New Zealand

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

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Bad boy

Shiva - - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

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Close encounters

Pinkie - - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

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Surprising

Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

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Self defence

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

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grahmagog 14

Saturday 15 June 2013 15:46

Im sure all cats are just russian spies...hellbent on human annihilation

tomhofer 14

Saturday 15 June 2013 15:47

One would think that by now people would refrain from letting cats in the bathroom

CeeCee_fml 16

Saturday 15 June 2013 19:55

I can tell when either one of my cats are about to jump on me because they spend at least a hour contemplating it. I just stop them before hand. Luckily, my cats grew out of the making-bathroom-visits-a-social-event phase.

phatdaddy62 23

Saturday 15 June 2013 20:40

You own a cat. YDI.

HarroIAmBob 21

Saturday 15 June 2013 21:10

whats wrong with that? or are you just making an extremely lame excuse to vote YDI?

buckdharma 37

Saturday 15 June 2013 21:00

She miscatculated.

Metthew 15

Saturday 15 June 2013 21:57

Why does people never close the door when they go to the bathroom? I never understand it. xD . I would feel weird being on the toilet with an animal watching.

18Divine 4

Saturday 15 June 2013 22:34

Close the bathroom door

Swimgal333 0

Saturday 15 June 2013 23:13

That just stinks I bet that really hurt

pattayarick 8

Sunday 16 June 2013 1:04

That's what you get for having a cat.

katina1236 20

Sunday 16 June 2013 1:38

I have 3 cats and I keep the bathroom door open, I really don't mind having them in the bathroom with me. Ever since they were kittens they learned that if they want cuddles they wait til I pick them up.

Old_Iron_Sides 6

Sunday 16 June 2013 5:24

They should make a new category of FMLs for those easily avoided by shutting and locking the bathroom door...

DumbAndYoung 30

Sunday 16 June 2013 11:41

My cat likes to jump up and drink from the faucet in the sink. If I go into my bathroom and close the door she meows outside of it until I come out, so I just let her in.