Food, Addiction Health Gotta have it

Gotta have it

kp. - - Australia

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

8 998

59 212

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Funyearahead - 08/08/2016 12:44 - United States - Red Bank

Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML

15 709

957

YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

34 568

4 994

dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

7 438

43 512

Another resolution bites the dust

Anonymous - 30/09/2024 00:00 - Germany - Seevetal

Today, I was extremely tired, so when I decided I wanted a snack, I went to the corner of the kitchen where the chocolate is, opened the garbage bin, and reached inside. FML

140

336

mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

30 871

9 144

ChocoMilkManG - 03/07/2009 01:37 - United States

Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML

47 290

18 008

Sneaky

Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

1 930

216

foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

57 265

7 156

Chip on your shoulder

Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59 - United States

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and ate some chips that were on my nightstand, totally unaware that they were covered in ants. Now I have two swollen lips and my kid’s birthday party is tomorrow. FML

400

1 159

Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

19 396

6 731

Freeze_fml 16

Monday 17 October 2011 8:25

That's disgusting and you should feel disgusting.

captainfalcon7 0

Monday 17 October 2011 8:27

I'm sorry this is just sad

serenity40 6

Tuesday 18 October 2011 17:52

At least you admitted that you have a problem. Now it's time to seek help immediately!!!

zyron7568 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 20:14

Your disgusting.

katwalker 2

Wednesday 19 October 2011 1:11

Sounds like you're starting to hit rock bottom with your addiction. Soon you'll be licking it off the ground to get your fix..

cheerleader205 0

Wednesday 19 October 2011 3:21

Fattyyyy

zackr29 0

Wednesday 19 October 2011 4:33

Fat ass

budd28 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 4:09

I did that too but mines was with a pop tart

btor417 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 6:24

ur not addicted.... that's called being fat

yomama564231 3

Thursday 20 October 2011 13:10

Nasty O.o

Amethyst99 2

Thursday 20 October 2011 13:26

stupd fat pig stop eating ants

nXoHavoc 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 14:58

The chocolate totally ruined those delicious ants

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my wife and I had zero interest in being parents, so she's on the pill and I always wear a condom, but now, with my vasectomy less than a week away, she somehow got pregnant and decides she wants to keep it. FML

1 598

397

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 2 years lost her virginity on a cruise last week. FML

5 904

770

Today, my boss thought it would be a great idea to delay paying me until after Christmas. There goes rent, bills, food and of course Christmas presents. FML

25 604

1 704

Today, I felt motivated to eat healthier, so I bought a bunch of vegetables. When I got home, I ordered some Burger King, all because I didn’t want to "waste the vegetables by cooking them wrong." Now the veggies are inevitably going bad in the fridge while I wait for my delivery. FML

726

Today, instead of canceling for the third consecutive time due to work-related reasons, my boyfriend sent his twin brother on our date. They both thought I wouldn't notice. FML

29 961

2 090

Today, I went to the post office. As I entered the building, my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML

11 080

39 677