Sex, Family Inappropriate Go mom!

Go mom!

disgusted - 04/10/2012 23:24 - United States - Clarksville

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said, "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

soon to be divorced - 24/10/2013 20:06 - United States

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

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Anonymous - 12/10/2010 05:46 - United States

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

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Drained

please_no - 16/03/2010 14:40 - United States

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

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Anonymous - 12/08/2009 07:39 - Australia

Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML

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LonelyInLA - 16/02/2009 21:45 - United States

Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML

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You OK hun?

notexactly - 29/12/2009 00:48 - Sweden

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML

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June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

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Shock and awe

Embarassed Girl - 14/07/2022 02:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML

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Snaked

Drained - 30/05/2025 07:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML

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Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

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Hiimhaileypotter 52

Friday 5 October 2012 3:00

I think I would die laughing if my mom said that.

ceccles628 6

Friday 5 October 2012 3:00

I'm pretty sure that commercial has some sexual undertones

Ray_of_midnight 22

Friday 5 October 2012 4:30

...he fixes the cable?

nrelavender 10

Friday 5 October 2012 4:44

Oh, come on, op. I'm sure you say things that give your mom images she'd rather not have.

mjbjenkins 0

Friday 5 October 2012 4:59

Moms say the darnest things.

Posthuman 26

Friday 5 October 2012 5:01

At least she didn't start rubbing one out in front of you

Bekll 31

Friday 5 October 2012 5:22

I love your mother. She sounds hilarious!

kAPISH 29

Friday 5 October 2012 5:37

Omg noor, i freaking love you. I go into every fml just to look for your comments...

missababgaga 19

Friday 5 October 2012 5:44

Are you sure it was normal tv you were watching?.. Sounds almost like you were watching the start of a bad porno with your mom...

perdix 29

Friday 5 October 2012 5:44

Look, I have to warn you. There's a commercial out there that strongly suggests Double Penetration. If that comes on, run like hell! Your mom might just rub one out right there on the living room couch, (even if you have told her it's wrong.)