Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML
Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML
Today, I received the most comments and likes on a Facebook post for years. What exciting thing had happened in my life? Well, I bought a glow-in-the-dark plant. FML
Today, I was stalking my crush's sister's account and I checked her family highlight. Little did I know, she had my ass out for a treat. Tell me why I felt like those cartoon rats falling into those mouse trap. SHE HAD A HIGHLIGHT TRAP! My crush ended up texting me, "Are you stalking my sister?" FML
Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML
Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML
Today, I sent a reply-all email to my entire company that said "Go tit" instead of "Got it". FML
Talk about a tough choice. FYL
imagine all the mouth you've fed or homeless you've clothed at the cost of your own.