Weird, Abuse Love Get your act together

Get your act together

Z…… - 14/11/2012 00:43 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Can't win

Anonymous - 06/01/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, if I don't do work around the house, my girlfriend will call me a lazy pig and yell at me. If I do, she will yell because I didn't do it the right way. If I ask her to clarify the right way, she will call me a dumbass, give useless instructions, and work herself up into yelling at me. FML

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Short nap

Anonymous - 10/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML

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PanFace - 13/10/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

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The blame game

stupid child - 24/03/2023 10:00

Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML

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Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

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what did I do? - 15/10/2015 19:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML

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Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

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Sharing is caring

T…… - 15/10/2023 00:02

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit because I snatched a couple of her fries for myself. She regularly raids my snacks, takes food off my plate, and has even stolen my work lunches, but a couple of fries is too much to ask. FML

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Anonymous - 31/03/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML

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Thanks dad

Anonymous - 19/09/2013 17:32 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

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Icyghost17 10

Wednesday 14 November 2012 8:46

I suggest you start throwing tantrums, refusing to eat your veggies, and demanding bedtime stories. If you can't beat em, join em!

MasterGamer591 13

Wednesday 14 November 2012 8:44

Talk to her like she is an old lady DO YOU UNDER....STAAAAAAAND miss

EandL_fml 2

Thursday 15 November 2012 13:14

your GF is awesome! I hope you do start acting like a man. too many men start acting like kids once they get comfortable in a relationship.

Levvy 22

Thursday 15 November 2012 15:47

Tell us what behavior the OP is showing that needs to stop/change, since you apparently know more about this story than the rest of us.

tknds4 6

Friday 16 November 2012 5:39

That's kinda hot...go with it

Sir_Swaggington 6

Friday 16 November 2012 7:48

If he can't be a man in a relationship, I doubt he could be a man and stand up for himself

angel55033 12

Friday 16 November 2012 18:08

Sounds kinky?

jimbob_76592 5

Friday 16 November 2012 20:07

Owned.

lululatenight 28

Friday 16 November 2012 22:46

she sounds awesome

BadAssBandit897 9

Friday 16 November 2012 23:43

What the hell!? why are guys so abused! believe it or not, plenty of girls don't do shit, but since they're "fragile little girls who deserve rights" they don't have to face consequences. *sigh* society -.-

lflickin 6

Saturday 17 November 2012 1:18

Well that could also be fun

Lady_Bee_fml 13

Saturday 17 November 2012 19:19

I seriously, seriously doubt OP's girlfriend is being 'abusive'. In fact I bet if OP were to read the comments telling him to be brave and leave her and that what she's doing isn't right he'd piss himself laughing. She's trying to annoy him into growing up and helping out more, not doing him psychological damage. Lighten up, people.